1 of 5 - Physical Health - Optional or Non-Negotiable?

If all goes as planned, this will be the first in a series. I have become convinced that in order to live a fulfilled life and lead others successfully there are five areas of growth, I will call them pillars, which require committed, intentional, and consistent action. I have adopted this idea as a result of reading books written and listening to a podcast by Thom Shea. I admit that my level of commitment to these areas of growth is not as intense as Thom Shea's. The application of the underlying principles, I have come to view, is non-negotiable. Let’s see if you might not also be convinced.

Arguably, living a healthy and fit lifestyle is chief among the five pillars. If you are not caring for your physical well-being you cannot experience the fullness of life available to you. The Holy Bible tells us that our body is a temple. Everyone’s body, fitness level, exercise preferences, and eating habits are uniquely their own. It would be presumptuous of me to try and prescribe how to best take care of your physical body. I will declare that fitness and exercise along with healthy eating habits are crucial to a fulfilled life.

Working out on a regular basis helps release hormones and chemicals in our bodies that elevate our mental state. Part of what comes along is a sense of accomplishment once a workout has been completed. Did you ride your bike on a particularly difficult trek? Are you seeing increased strength as a result of lifting weights? Have you noticed an increase in confidence after learning how to apply a new martial arts technique? Did you see a beautiful sunrise or sunset while out on a walk? Starting and maintaining a workout routine is not about motivation. Some days you may feel motivated others days, maybe not so much. Completing a workout can be even more rewarding when you did it in spite of the fact that you did not feel motivated to begin. In the end, the workout is not about motivation and reward as it is about being disciplined and treating yourself as someone you highly value, treasure, and want to care for.

Physical health is not isolated to working out on a regular basis. A balanced eating and nutrition lifestyle is key. Many of us were taught about a “Food Pyramid” when we were in school. I would like to challenge each of you to look into newer information that is available about diet and supplements. Items that we eat can help or hinder the results of our workout efforts. The best balance of protein, carbohydrates, and fats may be different for you than me, and it may contradict what we were taught. Things like eggs, coffee, and beef may not be as bad for us as some would suggest. Do certain supplements make sense and if so, where do you go to ensure their quality? What we eat, when we eat it, and how much we eat can affect mood, energy, and recovery from workouts or even sickness.

I advocate that, if you are not already working out and eating well, start slowly. One step at a time will get you to better physical health quicker than you may realize. It will also help with developing a practice of implementing well-disciplined decisions in your life. You may just find yourself accomplishing more than you thought feasible. An example in my own life (I am over 50 years old)…I have more muscle mass, run further and faster, do more push-ups, and have an overall greater fitness level than I did in high school or college. I am not nor was I a great athlete. This is just an illustration of one person who took one step after the next. Being the healthiest I have been in my life helps me overcome more obstacles, sleep better, and accomplish more mental and physical work than I thought would be possible.

I suggest, that without having good physical health, the next four pillars will fall apart. All five pillars need to be in place, but none of them work to their fullest without the physical daily attention to maintaining this your physical health.

Killing Rommel - Steven Pressfield

What makes a good leader? How does a leader emerge, grow, and become better at leading? Lessons in leading can be found in so many areas of life. I truly enjoy opportunities to learn about leadership in a variety of settings. Perhaps, for me, the most fruitful ways I have grown have been through observations of the lessons others can teach from their own lives.

Historic Fiction, when based on verifiable facts and events, is chief among the ways I have learned about leadership. In Killing Rommel, Steven Pressfield has taken the written account of R. Lawrence Chapman “Chap” and turned it into a masterpiece. Chap was a mentor to Pressfield. Their friendship and care for each other spanned decades and continents.

Many of the characters and all of the events described in this book are real. Chap’s journaling of the events turned into a book for us to read, helps reveal the realities of war. Chap was thrust into a leadership role, with lives on the line, even though he did not seem like he was the most experienced among the warriors. There were certain decisions made, in the heat of battle that Chap questioned for the rest of his life. In the middle of a situation where lives are on the line, these men did not have time to think about the long-term psychological effects of what they were doing.

Reading the progression in personal growth and character of Chap, conveyed in this book, shows that the trust others put in a leader is not built on the battlefield. Trust is about relationships, connections, and hard work done while training, resting, recovering, and living out lives in the daily grind. Chap intentionally stayed connected in his intimate, personal, and warrior relationships. His compassion for others…friend and foe, grew through his experiences in the desert of North Africa during WW2.

The mutual admiration and respect of warriors on opposite sides of the battle are well portrayed through the pages of this book. There are times when they are face-to-face with the enemy, even in the heat of battle, where decisions are made to save lives override all other emotions. These are clear conveyances of the dichotomy of leadership.

In the end, Chap is just a man who was trying to be what was needed for those around him. I have heard many war veterans proclaiming that a primary lesson they learned from war was love. To love others in a way far deeper than they previously understood. Maybe this is a lesson I can learn by proxy through this book…love more deeply than I thought possible. Love…not like “rainbows and roses” love which can be easily crushed. A deep abiding, protective, caring, mentoring love that happens when you are fighting shoulder-to-shoulder alongside those closest to you, to win the battles…when lives are on the line. Maybe some would call it tough love when needed. This is something that looks beyond the surface of an argument or disagreement. A love that through the mire and muck of life will reach a hand out to help through the pain and struggle.

Can I be that man? Can I share that kind of love? Can I lead and love those I intimately, familial, professionally, and/or personally care about? That is a goal for me. Lead and love, not as the superficial eyes see it, but rather with a deep care that is informed by getting below the surface of the relationships in my life and understanding the hearts and minds of those in my care.

The Warrior Ethos

Spartans do not ask how many are the enemy but where are they. Plutarch

For those who strive to be a better version of themselves, it is a daily battle. Very few of us perform on a physical battlefield, yet we have our own dragons which need to be slayed. As we prepare for the fight, what are the tools, skills, and weapons of choice? How are the rules of engagement determined? What brought us to where we are now in seeking to maintain integrity in the midst of the pressure and angst of a fierce fight? We are warriors in battles of our own.

Steven Pressfield describes himself as, “I am a writer. I write about war - external wars and internal wars, wars ancient and modern, real wars out of history and imagined wars that only exist only in speculation. Why? I don’t even know myself.” In his writing, he seems to accurately articulate the strength and authenticity of warriors through the ages. In these past 2 years, he has become one of my favorite authors.

The Warrior Ethos is a concise review of the warrior culture and he starts with the Spartans. He notes how the idea of the warrior started with protecting and providing for one’s own tribe. Strong men and women were the foundation of this warrior culture both in battle and at home. It grew into something that is greater than someone’s own personal pride or vendetta. Being a warrior is about honor, integrity, love, selflessness, strength, purpose, persistence, and much more.

Imagination may take us to an idea of a warrior that we have come to idolize in a movie, show, or book. Think about, “What is it about the warrior that captures our mind and spirit?” As I ponder this question, I also ask myself another question, “How can I live in that warrior spirit?”

This book helped me to tap into my own inner struggles and explore how I can better lead others as a warrior. I am asking myself and encourage you to do the same.

• Am I humble enough to see my own weaknesses and seek to improve upon them?

• Do I live confidently in knowing my strengths and how I can apply them to make myself and others around me have a more significant life?

• Can I set my pride aside and boost others as they experience the glory of a conquerer when they face their own dragons?

• Am I leading well?

A warrior is not on an island as a single, stoic conquerer. They surround themselves with others who serve key roles in their lives. If we are seeking to live a warrior’s life I propose we need people alongside us:

• Mentor - A select few people ahead of us in our journey who can speak wisdom and correction into our lives.

• Cohort - Perhaps a larger group than those who mentor us. These are the ones who fight alongside us, shoulder-to-shoulder. We pick each other up when we stumble. Drag each other out of the fray when we are wounded. Share the dark humor of a fellow combatant.

• Mentee - A select few individuals who will be able to take our place in the role we currently serve when we are no longer there.

I would recommend reading The Warrior Ethos. It is a clear, concise, and thought-provoking work. It can be a great tool to help you overcome your own adversities, struggles, and battles.

If you are interested in leadership mentoring or coaching. Whether it be a short-term mastermind group or one-on-one, I would be happy help. I can be reached at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

First, Break All The Rules

As we bring 2022 to an end and usher in 2023, for those of us interested in leadership and management, this is a great time to dig and contemplate what is or is not working. Picking up and reading, First Break All The Rules has helped me make adjustments to my own way of thinking. Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman have assembled vast amounts of data from multiple companies of varying sizes. The analysis shows principles that great companies and managers implement to make their organizations thrive in competitive markets.

One focus point that I have been seeking to pursue is their understanding of “Talent”. Talent is separate from intelligence, knowledge, or skills. Intelligence is the ability to learn. Knowledge is what you have already learned. Skills are how knowledge and intelligence get applied to tasks. While intelligence, knowledge, and skills are important. Talents are those things that come naturally to someone, without them having to spend a lot of time thinking about what is being done.

Once someone’s talent is understood, the idea of making sure a person is in the proper role is easier to do. One person may have the talent for communicating well in difficult situations. In a client-facing role, this person would need to have knowledge and skills to work with your product or service but they may not need to be the most intelligent, knowledgeable, or skilled. Another person may have the talent for analytical thinking, which could lead to them being the most skilled person for a technical role, but they may not have great client-facing skills.

Both of these talents are crucial to the company’s overall success. If, as a manager, you have these people in the wrong roles your business could stagnate or you may even lose clients by providing a less-than-amazing client experience and a lower-quality product. By shifting the roles of these two people you are more likely to thrive. For those you manage, placing the right people in the role best suited to their talent will go a long way to employee and client satisfaction.

Let me conclude this last post from 2022 with a suggestion for you, begin 2023 with a great book to catapult the enhancement of your leadership and/or management skills. First Break All The Rules is one of many books that will help. I invite you to review the blog on my website where you can find many other recommended choices.

Let’s all pursue growth and greatness in 2023. If there is anything I can do to help encourage or provide direction, feel free to reach out to me at toddrthomsen@gmail.com. Here’s to 2023, a year of significant growth!

Persist, Even if You Have to Crawl

Sometimes the motivation and feelings are just not there. At times emotions will go against what you know is needed. Along with the self-discipline mentioned in my previous post, being persistent and moving forward is necessary for growth. This is true for relationships, physical well-being, financial security, emotional strength, spiritual health, and intellectual development.

Do you find yourself with goals and desires to improve that seem unreachable? Sometimes, what is needed, is to just get started. You may find that it is less difficult than imagined. Perhaps, you will make needed adjustments and your objectives change. Maybe it is a big struggle, but once achieved a sense of accomplishment washes over you. Any of these possibilities can only be realized so long as you persist in making progress.

Taking the time on a periodic basis, to acknowledge where you are and set the next goals is a good habit. This will help make you aware of opportunities for growth. If the goals you set are always easy to obtain, the opportunity to gain ground is greatly diminished.

I encourage you to not read something that is not here. It is okay to have some goals that are less of a struggle. Just make sure you also have, “Big Hairy Audacious Goals” (aka BHAG) that force you to stretch beyond what was once thought to be unachievable. If you persist…even with small bits of progress, you may just surprise yourself.

The greatest victories are a result of pushing through the biggest struggles. Give yourself time, tools, and the patience to keep moving…be persistent. Be aware that along the way there will be mistakes. I like to call this, “falling forward”. When you trip and fall…which you will do; get back up, learn the lesson, then keep pursuing that BHAG.

I am offering my services to those who may be interested in leadership mentoring or coaching. Whether it be a short-term mastermind group or one on one, I would be happy to engage. If you have an interest, feel free to start a conversation with me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

Discipline, What is it All About?

Even though it has been a while since my last post, leadership is still a focus of my daily life. I have allowed other priorities to consume my time. I will get back to a regular posting schedule, just not as frequently as in the past.

Often the word “Discipline” connotes an idea of someone in authority instilling punishment or enforcing corrective actions on someone else. This is a valid definition of the word but does not apply to today’s context. With this post, think of discipline as something you do to and for yourself. It is not an outside source or some other person pushing you.

With this framing of discipline, someone is willing to set aside short-term pleasure or triumph in order to gain a long-term, more significant benefit. For example, if we choose to forgo a sugary breakfast for something more wholesome we will likely have better focus and more enduring energy to pursue the tasks and goals set before us. If we choose to exercise on a regular basis we increase the likelihood of greater overall health, focus, and longevity.

From a leadership perspective, we discipline ourselves by setting aside our own desire to be in the spotlight and receive praise (short-term gain). Instead, we need to coach and mentor those in our care, look to give them opportunities to grow and improve, and turn the focus on them as a group and individuals to receive the praise and adoration for success. We take actions that help remove obstacles that interfere with the success of those in our care.

We absorb and take ownership of situations where our team fell short of a goal or expected outcome. We discipline ourselves to take the time, pause and reflect on how to better prepare the team and each individual for future success. These are opportunities for us to learn and gain insight as leaders.

It is through self-discipline that we experience freedom and become less encumbered by physical, mental, and emotional limitations. We can all improve how we lead. A cornerstone of exceptional leadership is self-discipline.

I have learned from people like Jocko Willink. Although I have never met the man I do consider him a mentor and coach. If the yearning for a better way to lead others is part of your core, I suggest taking some time to read his books and listen to his podcasts. This is the man from whom I adopted this idea of, “Discipline Equals Freedom”.

This is the second in a series of three posts. The previous blog was about intentionality. The next one will be addressing the need for persistence in seeking a purpose for a significant life.

Being Intentional

Sometimes I catch myself having done some task, only to realize my accomplishment was very little, I took the easy way through my day. If I want to break out of the daily (often mundane) routine, it takes work. I have to be intentional about the steps as I grow. I need to push to become more of what I was designed to be.

I believe we each have God-given gifts, talents, and purpose. All of our gifts are unique to us as individuals. Outside of ourselves, no one can tell us the fullness of our purpose. We have each been placed here, on this earth, at this time, for a reason. We are not random, we are not generic, we are uniquely and carefully crafted. It takes intentional work and focus to find our purpose…the reason for our existence.

In your journey, whatever you do, do not give up on yourself and what you were designed to accomplish.

Being intentional is about taking one step at a time. If you want to lose weight, be intentional about being more physically fit. What is one step you can take today, towards better physical fitness? Repeat that step each day, and systematically add another step next week. If you want to be better at relationships, what is one step you can take today towards showing someone you care for them? Let that become a monthly or weekly pattern, intentionally repeating the intent. Start with one step…just one…today, do not wait for tomorrow, next week, next month, a New Years’ resolution.

Being intentional is not complex. It does not take a monumental effort. It is about simple things done with a purpose or goal. It will not include taking the easy route. It demands breaking out of a less healthy routine, replacing it with something better. Making a lifetime of small changes.

The best athletes, greatest families, best public speakers, and strongest leaders did not get there overnight. Nor did they get there on their own. Every one of them, as part of their normal life, is being coached and mentored by others. Having someone to help you stay focused and intentional is key. If I want to be better at an area in my life, I need to find someone who will come alongside me and encourage or if needed push me out of my comfort zone.

This is the first in a series of three posts, where I will address the need for intentionality, discipline, and purpose in a significant life. In my previous post, I shared how motivation is not all we are led to believe.

While you wait for my next post, here is something to consider. I am offering my services to those who may be interested in leadership mentoring or coaching. If you have an interest, feel free to start a conversation with me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

Motivation, How Can I Get Some?

How many motivational phrases have you heard? If you are anything like me, motivation can be great…for a time. Motivation can set my passions on fire, then disappear just as fast as it came on. Motivation is an emotional response and not a purposeful decision.

I have lost count of how many conferences, retreats, or speeches I have attended where I come out telling myself that I will make this or that change. I will be more consistent in some areas of weakness. I will be a better father, friend, lover, worker, a man of faith…or whatever the message was about. I would be convinced that the opportunity is right there for me to take.

Then, Monday morning hits, and I am back into the same old routine. I slide back into my comfort zone. I get caught up in the daily routine.

This is part of the reason I have not gone to a motivational event for years. Motivation does nothing long-term for me. If you are like me, there is something else needed to drive success and significant life. Three words come to mind:

• Intentionality --> conscious, deliberate, knowing, purposeful

• Discipline --> instruct, educate, train, teach

• Persistence --> ceaselessness, continuance, durability, endurance

None of these words have any emotional ties. There is nothing short-term or time-constrained about these ideas. These words refer to honing yourself without regard to your emotional state. The ideas embodied by these words are all about doing rather than feeling.

I strive to put aside motivation. If it is there, great! We have goals to reach, people to love and care for, an impact to make in this world. The only thing stopping me is me. If our single driving force is motivation the passion to take necessary actions will fade. I need to ensure I am intentional, practice discipline, and am persistent. I will make strides every day (no matter how small) towards where I need to be.

I have gone through some significant life changes in the past 5 years. I found mentors who have helped me in each step of the journey. Two of them have become close personal friends. Some of them influence me through consistent messages in their podcasts. I would not be where I am without that help. None of us is an island, we cannot grow on our own.

Stick with me over the next few posts. I will address each of the three keywords mentioned above. In the meantime here is something to consider. I am offering my services to those who may be interested in leadership mentoring or coaching. If you have an interest, feel free to start a conversation with me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

Internal Dialogue. Are You Listening or Telling?

How often do you struggle with thoughts in your head? Have you grappled with how to keep yourself motivated? Are you second-guessing past decisions? Do you find it difficult to navigate choices?

Have you considered that part of why some of these items can be difficult is that you may be listening to an internal dialog rather than telling yourself what needs to be done? Our internal dialog is an interesting phenomenon and is typically informed by our past. I would guess that struggle with things from our less than perfect personal history.

Our personal history is real, informative, and important to understanding where we are. We can choose to live in or learn from the past. This choice informs and influences our present, which in turn will have an effect on our future. Here is an example from my life:

For years I struggled with self-image. Growing up I was always one of the heavier kids among my peers. I played football and was too heavy, by league standards, to play the position I really wanted. I could not keep up with the fast pace on the basketball court. On the baseball field, I was often put in right-field where the action was not likely to come my way. I did not let these situations allow me to play the role of a victim. At the same time, it did leave me with some negative thoughts about my physique and abilities. This informed my internal dialog for years…and I allowed myself to listen.

Now, as an adult, I am in a better place physically, emotionally, and mentally. I got here by telling myself to push through the negative internal dialog…stop listening to the voices in my head from my childhood and younger adult years. I cannot wait to be motivated, rather I am going to be intentional and disciplined. Yet, daily I still struggle with the negative thoughts. I often find my internal voice trying to talk me out of working out, eating well, having quiet time, keeping up with reading, and more.

Our internal dialog should not be ignored as it can keep us from danger. Our internal dialog should also be tempered with an understanding of reality, the likelihood of certain “bad” things from happening (playing the “odds” game"), and telling ourselves we are capable of more than we realize.

This is not a “name it and claim it” message. I want to encourage all of us to pursue our dreams and aspirations wholeheartedly. In that pursuit, put in the blood, sweat, and tears. Success comes from fighting through the learning curve of new endeavors and persevering through the times when you just want to throw something across the room because the task in front of you seems undaunting.

Remember that if success was easy, everyone would be successful. Find your niche. What is it that keeps you moving forward? What is the challenge that when you overcome it, you get a sense of elation and accomplishment? Make it happen!

I am offering my services to those who may be interested in leadership mentoring and/or coaching. If you have an interest, feel free to start a conversation with me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

A Whole New Mind

We are living in an age where more businesses are working with partners and organizations across the globe. In an era of greater competition, the ability to be creative can be a noteworthy influencing factor to success. According to Daniel H. Pink, the current business climate is pushing us beyond the Information Age and into the Conceptual Age.

In part, here is what he means, there are many systematic tasks which can be performed by people in cultures and regions where the cost of living is far lower than many who in wealthier nations. The more skilled people get at programming tasks, scripting repeatable operations, and establishing pre-build decision matrices, the more likely these activities can be done at a lower cost by individuals who live and thrive at a fraction of the cost of someone in the United States, a European nation, Japan, or even Australia or New Zealand. This is not a critique of one culture over another. It is an explanation of how there is a need for all of us, in a global experience, can grow and be more productive in the world around us.

Most of the tasks mentioned above are driven by systematic thinking, which is generally associated with the left side of our brain. Creativity, spirituality, thoughtfulness, and empathy are generally associated with the right side of our brain. Daniel H. Pink sites how his experience with taking a drawing class, participating in acting lessons, and learning from “laughing groups” have helped him and others expand how well both hemispheres of our brains work together. The ability to use both sides of our brain to create better solutions and experiences for the world is the genesis for ushering in the Conceptual Age.

This book was copyrighted in 2005, so some of the references to tools for help with increasing our right-brained thinking are outdated. The concepts and lessons are still just as valid as they were over 15 years ago. Read the book and learn to embrace the value of a good story, having time to play, and being mindful of seeking meaning in our lives. I hope you find it as enjoyable as I have.

I am offering my services to those who may be interested in leadership mentoring and/or coaching. This will be one on one, or very small group interactions on a periodic basis. The intention is to operate in a similar manner as a short-term mastermind. This is to say that there will be a few months of interactions set up as 1-hour sessions once or twice a month. If you have an interest, feel free to start a conversation with me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.