Walking The Tightrope: Leaders Balancing Between Task Management and Team Well-being

How often do you find yourself striving to balance the constant dichotomy of task management and team care? As leaders we often are responsible for managing, meaning we are ensuring projects and tasks are completed on time and to a high standard, driving results and achieving organizational goals. Simultaneously, we are called to lead, meaning that we have a crucial responsibility to foster a healthy and supportive environment for our team members, ensuring they are not overburdened, stressed to the point of burnout, or feeling undervalued. This tightrope walk requires a delicate touch, a keen awareness of individual capacities, and a commitment to open communication. A leader who prioritizes tasks above all else risks alienating their team, stifling creativity, and ultimately hindering long-term success. Conversely, a leader who focuses solely on team well-being without effectively managing tasks may struggle to meet deadlines, lose credibility, and jeopardize the organization's overall performance.

Herein lies the challenge, of finding the sweet spot where productivity and compassion intersect. It's not about choosing one over the other, but rather integrating both seamlessly into the leadership approach. Each team and organization will have its unique harmony. This involves setting clear expectations and goals, providing the necessary resources and support, and regularly checking in with team members to gauge their workload and stress levels. It also requires a willingness to be flexible and adjust plans when necessary, recognizing that unforeseen circumstances and individual needs may require shifts in priorities. As leaders we must be attuned to the subtle signs of overwork; such as decreased engagement, missed deadlines, or changes in team members' demeanor – and take proactive steps to address these issues before they escalate.

One of the most effective tools for balancing task management and team well-being is open and honest communication. As leaders we should set expectations and conditions where team members feel comfortable sharing their concerns, asking for help, and providing feedback. Regular team meetings, one-on-one check-ins, and informal conversations can provide valuable insights into individual workloads and team dynamics. By actively listening to their team and demonstrating genuine care for their well-being, leaders can build trust, foster a sense of community, and create a culture where everyone understands expectations and strives to support one another in driving successful outcomes.

Ultimately, the ability to balance task management and team care is a hallmark of exceptional leadership. It requires us to be both results-oriented and people-focused, recognizing that the success of the organization is inextricably linked to the well-being of its team members. By prioritizing both, leaders can create a thriving and productive work environment where individuals feel empowered to contribute their best work, achieve their full potential, and feel valued for their contributions.

If you would like to talk through this dichotomy in greater detail. I welcome your conversation. Reach out to me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

Building a Foundation of Trust: The Cornerstone of Effective Leadership

Over the years, I've learned (and continue to learn) that trust is more than just a feel-good notion; it's the bedrock of strong teams, successful partnerships, and ultimately, organizational growth. Just as a house cannot stand without a solid foundation, a leader's ability to inspire, motivate, and achieve results hinges on the trust they've built with their team members, clients, and stakeholders.

The Imperative of Trust

• Enhanced Collaboration: When trust is present, team members feel comfortable sharing ideas, admitting mistakes, and working together towards common goals. This fosters a collaborative environment that sparks cohesion, innovation, and problem-solving.

• Improved Employee Engagement: When a team trusts their leader, they are more likely to be engaged, productive, and invested in the success of the organization.

• Stronger Client Relationships: Trust is essential for building strong client relationships. Clients who trust your expertise and integrity are more likely to be loyal, receptive to your recommendations, and open to long-term partnerships.

The Pitfalls of Broken Trust

Just as trust is essential for building a successful organization, a broken trust can have a devastating impact. Here's how a lack of trust can manifest in the business world:

• Decreased Morale and Productivity: When teams don't trust their leaders, morale suffers, leading to decreased productivity, increased mental and physical absenteeism, and higher turnover rates.

• Communication Silos: A lack of trust can lead to communication breakdowns, with team members withholding information or becoming hesitant to voice concerns. This hinders decision-making and problem-solving as crucial facts are missing or misrepresented.

• Damaged Client Relationships: Broken trust with clients leads to lost business, negative word-of-mouth marketing, and difficulty establishing new client relationships.

Rebuilding Trust

Regaining trust after it's broken takes time, effort, and genuine commitment. Here are some initial steps a leader can take:

• Acknowledge the Breach: Transparency is key. Openly acknowledge the mistake or broken promise and take responsibility for the actions that led to the erosion of trust.

• Communicate Authentically: Be honest and upfront in all communication. Clearly explain the steps being taken to address the issue and preventative actions to avoid future occurrences.

• Demonstrate Consistent Action: Actions speak louder than words. Follow through on commitments and demonstrate a consistent effort to rebuild trust through your behavior.

This Blog Post is Just the Beginning

If you, as a leader, would like to engage further in this discussion, or any other leadership topic, feel free to reach out to me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

The Last of the Amazons - Steven Pressfield

Image from Greek Reporter

Have you ever woken up one morning realizing everything you thought you knew about your life or career was about to change? That's the gut punch Steven Pressfield delivers in his captivating novel, 'The Last of the Amazons'.  In this novel, he transports us to a world facing unexpected and unplanned change, where the legendary Amazons, a society of warrior women, face the end of their society. The book highlights Theseus, the Athenian hero, and his encounter with the Amazon queen, Hippolyta. The book delves into the complex dynamics of a society grappling with internal strife, external threats, and the inevitable shift of power. While it is unlikely that you have experienced the same level of alteration in your life.  The struggle for survival, the clash of cultures, and the exploration of leadership in the face of extinction outlined in this book provide powerful metaphors for the challenges and opportunities we face in business and personal lives today.

 When being introduced to new business models or working conditions, we can use the illustration of Hippolyta, and the burden of leadership during a time of profound transition. She is torn between holding tight to the traditions of her ancestors and adapting to the changing realities of the world. This resonates with the challenges faced by leaders in today's rapidly evolving business landscape. Whether it's digital transformation, adapting to new market trends, or building a new career, leaders must balance the need to honor established principles with the imperative to innovate and adjust. Hippolyta's struggle to maintain unity within her ranks while facing external pressures reflects the complexities of managing teams and navigating client relationships, especially in a fractional capacity where you're often working with diverse groups and established organizational cultures. 

 Like how the ability to predict how dynamics shift with the addition of new stakeholders is difficult.  The conflict between the Amazons and the Greeks represents a clash of cultures, values, and ways of life. Pressfield masterfully portrays the strengths and weaknesses of both societies, highlighting the importance of understanding different perspectives. In the business world, especially in leadership roles, this ability to understand diverse perspectives is crucial. Whether you're working with clients from different industries, managing multicultural teams, or navigating complex stakeholder relationships, the ability to empathize, communicate effectively, and bridge cultural divides is essential for success. This theme is particularly relevant to the challenges of building a managed services practice, where understanding diverse client needs is paramount to building trust and delivering value.

 Despite facing overwhelming odds, the Amazons demonstrate remarkable resilience and adaptability. Even in the face of their impending decline, they fight fiercely to preserve their way of life and find a new path forward. This theme of resilience is highly relevant to our personal and professional development. In our careers, we inevitably face setbacks, challenges, and unexpected changes. Adapting, learning from our experiences, and persevering in the face of adversity is crucial for achieving our goals. This is especially true for entrepreneurs and those building new businesses or practices, where adaptability and resilience are key to navigating uncertainty and achieving long-term success.  My question is, how well are we leading through the changes we see in business?  Are we communicating clear and understandable messages?  Are we connecting with those in our care?

 Just as the Amazons faced the challenge of adapting to a changing world, businesses today face constant pressure to innovate and evolve. Whether it's through strategic leadership or the implementation of tailored services, helping companies navigate these challenges and achieve their full potential is my core mission. By understanding the principles of leadership, resilience, and cultural understanding, we can empower businesses to thrive in today's dynamic environment. If you are interested in having a conversation about how I can be of service to you, feel free to reach out to todd@toddrthomsen.com.

The Virtues of War: A Novel of Alexander the Great

Image from AhramOnline

Steven Pressfield's "The Virtues of War", we read a compelling portrait of Alexander the Great, not merely as a military genius, but as a complex and multifaceted leader. While the backdrop is ancient warfare, the principles of leadership, strategy, and resilience depicted in the novel resonate deeply with the challenges and opportunities I have witnessed in today's business world. As I've reflected on Alexander's approach to leadership, I've found striking parallels to the skills and mindset required for success in building managed services practices and providing effective fractional CIO/IT Leadership services. It's not about conquering territories, but about conquering challenges, building strong teams, and delivering impactful results for our clients.

One of Alexander's defining traits was his strategic brilliance. He was a master of anticipating his enemies' moves, adapting his tactics on the fly, and seizing opportunities that others missed. This strategic agility is paramount in today's rapidly changing technological landscape. When developing IT roadmaps for clients as a fractional CIO, or when building a new managed services offering, the ability to analyze market trends, anticipate client needs, and adapt to unforeseen circumstances is crucial. Just as Alexander adapted his strategies on the battlefield, we must be willing to adjust our approaches and solutions to ensure we're delivering maximum value and achieving our clients’ objectives. This ability to pivot and adapt to changing conditions is essential for providing effective fractional services where each client presents a unique set of challenges.

Alexander's ability to inspire unwavering loyalty and motivate his troops to extraordinary feats is another key takeaway from "The Virtues of War." Building and leading high-performing teams is essential in any leadership role, and it's especially critical in the context of managed services. Whether managing an internal team or collaborating with client teams in a fractional capacity, the ability to communicate a clear vision, foster a collaborative environment, and motivate individuals to achieve common goals is paramount. Just as Alexander inspired his troops to fight for a shared purpose, we must inspire our teams to deliver exceptional service and build strong client relationships. This is even more important in a fractional role, as you are often integrating with existing teams and need to quickly build trust and rapport.

Beyond strategy and motivation, Alexander's success stemmed from his unwavering discipline and relentless focus on execution. A brilliant strategy is meaningless without the discipline to implement it effectively. This is equally true in the business world. Whether it's managing a complex IT project, delivering ongoing managed services, or providing strategic guidance as a fractional CIO, discipline, and execution are essential for achieving desired outcomes. In my experience, building a successful managed services practice requires meticulous planning, consistent execution, and a commitment to continuous improvement. Just as Alexander demanded the highest standards from his troops, we must demand excellence from ourselves and our teams to deliver impactful results for our clients.

Read, adapt, apply, teach, grow…these are all essential in today’s business climate. Reach out to me at todd@toddrthomsen.com if you would like to discuss leadership mentoring or coaching.

5 of 5 - Intellectual Engagement and Growth - Optional or Non-Negotiable?

This is the fifth and final in a series of principles, that in order to live a fulfilled life and lead others successfully, requires committed, intentional, and consistent action. I will continue to give credit to Thom Shea as the person who introduced me to these 5 pillars. Each of us will have our own way to apply these to our lives. I view these pillars, as non-negotiable. Have you been convinced so far? Let’s see what you think about this one.

It is critical that we stay mentally engaged and challenged throughout our entire life. Our brains function much like muscles, in that to experience growth we must exercise. If we fail to exercise our brain atrophy will engage. The older we get the sooner atrophy sets in and the quicker we lose functionality. There are supplements we can consume to help, but the reality is growth requires hard work, dedication, and intentionality.

I have read the synopsis of studies and listened to neuroscientists who are much better at sighting evidence that being intellectually engaged and growing helps overcome cognitive decline as we age. I want to be like my great-grandmother and my mother. They were always mentally engaged. Every time I would see either of them, they had something to talk about and was wanting to know about the lives of those around them. They both quilted, crocheted, and knitted until weeks before they died. They were knowledgeable about current events and could carry on a conversation even in their last days.

There are a few tools I use to seek mental growth and engagement.

• Long-Form Podcasts - These are gaining in popularity. I believe it is due to the desire for people to engage in more than just sound bites. There is an increasing hunger for a deeper understanding of thoughts, ideas, theories, and details around important aspects of our lives. One podcast that may be a good start is Huberman Lab. Check it out and let me know your thoughts.

• Reading Books - Whether it is a digital or physical book, reading material that is more than just a few pages engages our brains in multiple ways that short-form cannot match. The plot/storyline is built and expanded upon, specific details are explored, and thoughts and ideas are challenged. While I appreciate audiobooks and podcasts, reading engages the mind more deeply and thoroughly as pages are turned and more senses are involved. Two leadership books I would highly recommend are Unbreakable by Thom Shea and Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink

• Exercise - Yes, this is great for addressing the first pillar in this series (1 of 5 - Physical Health - Optional or Non-Negotiable?), and being physically fit helps engages us cognitively. The blood flow and nutrients necessary for intellectual growth are more abundantly delivered to our brain while we exercise and when our overall physical well-being is being addressed.

As we age and technology progresses, how are you going to grow in intellect? Will you find a creative way to implement Artificial Intelligence into your job or your daily life? Will you explore the concept around blockchain? Are you going to find new ways to partner with other professionals and provide improved services to your clients? Will you learn a new language?

We all have our unique ways of engaging intellectually. Even as an individual, the most effective tool you use today may be different than what you needed yesterday. Spend time being mentally challenged and engaged. Push through difficult concepts and ideas to gain a better understanding. You will find it rewarding. It provides an opportunity to have more conversations. When we speak humbly and intelligently about topics, others will be more open to our ideas. We can better understand those around us who have better expertise when we have a base of knowledge in the topics that interest them.

The key is growth, movement, and challenge. My tools for mental improvement are not going to be the same as yours. How I apply my tools will be different than yours. We are each uniquely and wonderfully designed. Stay engaged mentally and you will find it worth the time and effort.

4 of 5 - Maintaining and Strengthening Intimate Relationships - Optional or Non-Negotiable?

This is the fourth in a series of five pillars that in order to live a fulfilled life and lead others successfully, requires committed, intentional, and consistent action. I have adopted and adapted these five pillars, but they originated from Thom Shea. These pillars are non-negotiable. Let’s see if I can articulate well enough that you might also be convinced.

We have been designed as social beings. One of the worst things you can do in life is to isolate yourself. The most severe punishment in jail is solitary confinement. Thom Shea has shared the story of a time when he was a BUD/S instructor and learned how much isolation will cause the strongest SEAL candidates to quit. We found out through the 2020 response to a virus, just how painful it can be for individuals to be alone. Suicide, alcohol abuse, opioid dependency, and many other problems increased significantly due to government mandates requiring self-isolation. Our mental and emotional stability is indescribably tied to having close relationships with key people in life, and physical and emotional intimacy with our “significant other”.

Building strong intimate relationships touches on the very core of who we are and how we successfully navigate the world in which we live. These are people who know our deepest desires and greatest weaknesses and still love and care for us. They are also the ones who we will give our lives to protect, our hearts to support, and our thoughts to guide. When we experience our biggest triumphs, these are the people we want to celebrate at our side. We applaud their successes with great enthusiasm and deep pride.

Do you have someone in your life who will clean your wounds, insist you take your medicine, push you to exercise…and you will do the same for them? I am referencing all aspects of these areas and not just physical. Our wounds that need cleansing, medicine to take, and exercise that needs to take place may be spiritual or emotional as well. This would be someone who loves as you are but will help you reach and push to achieve even more, and you do the same for them.

Some of us learn the hard way that this is a crucial part of life. The physical, fiscal, emotional, mental, and spiritual drain of going through a divorce takes its toll. We need to take the time and make the effort to show our loved ones they are important. 30 minutes a day, devoted to listening to and communicating with your loved ones will pay back dividends that cannot be tracked on a balance sheet or time card. It does not need to always be deep conversations, but it can be. If there are times when they need more than 30 minutes then do it…for as long as is needed. This is not a staff meeting at work that must begin and end by a specific time. Give your significant other the time they need to verbalize their thoughts and be thoroughly heard. Speak your mind with a humble, honest, and loving purpose. Intentionally follow up on promises and commitments made during these conversations.

If you want to be able to lead others in a professional environment, it takes putting in the effort to lead well in your intimate relationships. This is where you learn to uncover motives, fears, and uncertainties. You strengthen your ability to empathize and have compassion. You learn how to hear inflections in voice and watch body posture, to see how these reflect emotions. You grow in the ability to deeply connect.

Love and be loved. Your life will be more fulfilled and you will have an increased ability to share more care and compassion with those you are called to lead. In the end, people will remember how you treated them more than the words you spoke to them. Having and building intimate bonds with those who are close to you will give you greater strength to face challenges and encourage others.

3 of 5 - Spiritual Wellbeing - Optional or Non-Negotiable?

This is the third in a series discussing five pillars for which I have become convinced that to live a fulfilled life and lead others successfully, requires committed, intentional, and consistent action. I have adopted this idea of these five pillars as a result of reading books written and listening to a podcast by Thom Shea. I view these pillars, as non-negotiable. Let’s see if I can articulate well enough that you might also be convinced.

This post is a bit of a struggle for me. It is so because, by design, we are all created to have a unique and individual spiritual experience. Putting words to my thoughts here will give you the way I see my spiritual well-being lived out. To compact this huge topic into a post that takes just a few minutes to read is not giving proper justice. I will hit some highlights, and let you decide whether Spiritual Well-Being is “Optional or Non-Negotiable”.

Humans are the only creatures on this planet to have a conscious knowledge of the difference between right and wrong, or good and evil…a sense of morals. Exodus 20, in the Old Testament, gives us the 10 Commandments. These are the groundwork for a moral and spiritual compass…perhaps we can call it a target for which to aim. Having morals and laws protecting other humans is more than just following “survival of the fittest”, which defines most other creatures on our planet. Morals are born from spiritual awareness and valuing of other humans despite their differences in appearance, ancestry, or other immutable characteristics.

In today’s business culture, we shy away from the word “sin”. The origins of this word come from ancient archery terms “Hamartia” (Greek) and “Hata” (Hebrew), both meaning, “to miss the mark”. It takes years of practice and incremental improvement to achieve the skill to hit a precise target. Over the course of these years, you will often miss the mark. If you have ever tried archery or any other marksmanship challenge which requires precise targeting, hitting the mark is very difficult and takes coaching, patience, and thousands of iterative attempts.

When we watch great athletes compete, what compels us to stand up and cheer when there is a big play or accomplishment? Could it be that it is a display of physical dedication, emotional commitment, and a spiritual experience that culminates and causes such great excitement in our heart and mind that we feel like we cannot resist the desire to cheer and celebrate? Great athletes have gifts and talents that go beyond DNA and intellectual acumen for the sport. They have what some call “intangibles”. Is there something spiritual in those intangibles?

When we use the 10 Commandments as our target for our moral direction, we will miss more than we hit. However, through coaching, practice, and diligent attention and focus our accuracy is improved. This journey also teaches us to be humble and understanding of the difficulties that arise when aiming at Spiritual Well-Being and growth. Putting us in a mindset to better influence those in our care and help them aim in a direction that brings them spiritual health.

I am not espousing a specific religion. I have been raised in a Christian community that is governed by Judea-Christian principles. I have the privilege of living in a time that is built on a foundation formed by the likes of Socrates, Plato, Plutarch, Jesus of Nazareth, Saul of Tarsus, and many other great thinkers who challenged common culture and pursued the spiritual realm. These men have shaped our Western Culture. Spirituality is not about perfection nor about controlling others. It is about getting in touch with the “intangibles” that are within each of us to help us grow and pursue a target that makes us better people and leaders.

2 of 5 - Fiscal Stability - Optional or Non-Negotiable?

This is the second in a series of five principles (aka pillars) that I believe are necessary to live a fulfilled life and lead others successfully. These pillars require committed, intentional, and consistent action. As mentioned in my previous post, I have adopted this idea as a result of reading books written and listening to a podcast by Thom Shea. Each of us will have our own way to apply these pillars to our lives. I have come to view them, as non-negotiable. Let’s see if I can articulate well enough that you might be convinced.

How to define fiscal (aka monetary) stability is somewhat personal. Two people who are predominant teachers of personal finance, Dave Ramsey and Robert Kiyosaki, have very different points of view on debt, credit, and how to be financially stable. I am not here to debate or declare one idea or approach as better than the other. I encourage you to research, evaluate, and (like my previous post on Physical Health), start one step at a time.

How many of you have had an argument with a friend, spouse, family member, or some other loved one over money issues? These heated discussions are not necessarily based on whether you can afford to spend the money, but rather on what the spending priorities should be. How much more intense will those feelings which lead to arguments over spending priorities be intensified when there is too much month left at the end of your paycheck?

Fiscal security affects the very foundation of who we are. When finances are in bad shape we will question the ability to keep a roof over our heads and provide sustenance for ourselves and those we love. On its own, financial distress creates pressures which can consume our thoughts, cause lost sleep, shake our confidence, and influence all other aspects of life.

Alternatively, when our finances are in order we are free to spend time and energy on things that are more beneficial to ourselves and those who we influence. It can be like losing weight…it lightens our load and frees up energy to be used for growth in other aspects of our lives.

So how does this apply to leadership? Here are a few ways.

1. Establishes systemic and ongoing discipline in life, knowing to stay within your limits.

2. Increased opportunity for the generosity of time, effort, and finances.

3. Having your own life in order provides credibility when you desire to influence others.

The more your own life is well organized, the higher your likelihood of other opportunities. Whether or not we know it, we are being watched by others. When our physical and fiscal pillars are solid, we have the freedom to thrive in other areas of life. When we have gone through the crucible of overcoming physical and financial obstacles we are better positioned to empathize with the struggles and lead others through their own difficulties.

Something to consider, a position or title of leadership does not equal leading. Leading means someone must be willing to follow. If we lack self-discipline, there is very little chance to inspire others to trust us to lead. All five pillars require attention and focus. Over the next few months, I will be adding the next three pillars (Spiritual, Intimate Relationships, and Intellectual).

1 of 5 - Physical Health - Optional or Non-Negotiable?

If all goes as planned, this will be the first in a series. I have become convinced that in order to live a fulfilled life and lead others successfully there are five areas of growth, I will call them pillars, which require committed, intentional, and consistent action. I have adopted this idea as a result of reading books written and listening to a podcast by Thom Shea. I admit that my level of commitment to these areas of growth is not as intense as Thom Shea's. The application of the underlying principles, I have come to view, is non-negotiable. Let’s see if you might not also be convinced.

Arguably, living a healthy and fit lifestyle is chief among the five pillars. If you are not caring for your physical well-being you cannot experience the fullness of life available to you. The Holy Bible tells us that our body is a temple. Everyone’s body, fitness level, exercise preferences, and eating habits are uniquely their own. It would be presumptuous of me to try and prescribe how to best take care of your physical body. I will declare that fitness and exercise along with healthy eating habits are crucial to a fulfilled life.

Working out on a regular basis helps release hormones and chemicals in our bodies that elevate our mental state. Part of what comes along is a sense of accomplishment once a workout has been completed. Did you ride your bike on a particularly difficult trek? Are you seeing increased strength as a result of lifting weights? Have you noticed an increase in confidence after learning how to apply a new martial arts technique? Did you see a beautiful sunrise or sunset while out on a walk? Starting and maintaining a workout routine is not about motivation. Some days you may feel motivated others days, maybe not so much. Completing a workout can be even more rewarding when you did it in spite of the fact that you did not feel motivated to begin. In the end, the workout is not about motivation and reward as it is about being disciplined and treating yourself as someone you highly value, treasure, and want to care for.

Physical health is not isolated to working out on a regular basis. A balanced eating and nutrition lifestyle is key. Many of us were taught about a “Food Pyramid” when we were in school. I would like to challenge each of you to look into newer information that is available about diet and supplements. Items that we eat can help or hinder the results of our workout efforts. The best balance of protein, carbohydrates, and fats may be different for you than me, and it may contradict what we were taught. Things like eggs, coffee, and beef may not be as bad for us as some would suggest. Do certain supplements make sense and if so, where do you go to ensure their quality? What we eat, when we eat it, and how much we eat can affect mood, energy, and recovery from workouts or even sickness.

I advocate that, if you are not already working out and eating well, start slowly. One step at a time will get you to better physical health quicker than you may realize. It will also help with developing a practice of implementing well-disciplined decisions in your life. You may just find yourself accomplishing more than you thought feasible. An example in my own life (I am over 50 years old)…I have more muscle mass, run further and faster, do more push-ups, and have an overall greater fitness level than I did in high school or college. I am not nor was I a great athlete. This is just an illustration of one person who took one step after the next. Being the healthiest I have been in my life helps me overcome more obstacles, sleep better, and accomplish more mental and physical work than I thought would be possible.

I suggest, that without having good physical health, the next four pillars will fall apart. All five pillars need to be in place, but none of them work to their fullest without the physical daily attention to maintaining this your physical health.

Killing Rommel - Steven Pressfield

What makes a good leader? How does a leader emerge, grow, and become better at leading? Lessons in leading can be found in so many areas of life. I truly enjoy opportunities to learn about leadership in a variety of settings. Perhaps, for me, the most fruitful ways I have grown have been through observations of the lessons others can teach from their own lives.

Historic Fiction, when based on verifiable facts and events, is chief among the ways I have learned about leadership. In Killing Rommel, Steven Pressfield has taken the written account of R. Lawrence Chapman “Chap” and turned it into a masterpiece. Chap was a mentor to Pressfield. Their friendship and care for each other spanned decades and continents.

Many of the characters and all of the events described in this book are real. Chap’s journaling of the events turned into a book for us to read, helps reveal the realities of war. Chap was thrust into a leadership role, with lives on the line, even though he did not seem like he was the most experienced among the warriors. There were certain decisions made, in the heat of battle that Chap questioned for the rest of his life. In the middle of a situation where lives are on the line, these men did not have time to think about the long-term psychological effects of what they were doing.

Reading the progression in personal growth and character of Chap, conveyed in this book, shows that the trust others put in a leader is not built on the battlefield. Trust is about relationships, connections, and hard work done while training, resting, recovering, and living out lives in the daily grind. Chap intentionally stayed connected in his intimate, personal, and warrior relationships. His compassion for others…friend and foe, grew through his experiences in the desert of North Africa during WW2.

The mutual admiration and respect of warriors on opposite sides of the battle are well portrayed through the pages of this book. There are times when they are face-to-face with the enemy, even in the heat of battle, where decisions are made to save lives override all other emotions. These are clear conveyances of the dichotomy of leadership.

In the end, Chap is just a man who was trying to be what was needed for those around him. I have heard many war veterans proclaiming that a primary lesson they learned from war was love. To love others in a way far deeper than they previously understood. Maybe this is a lesson I can learn by proxy through this book…love more deeply than I thought possible. Love…not like “rainbows and roses” love which can be easily crushed. A deep abiding, protective, caring, mentoring love that happens when you are fighting shoulder-to-shoulder alongside those closest to you, to win the battles…when lives are on the line. Maybe some would call it tough love when needed. This is something that looks beyond the surface of an argument or disagreement. A love that through the mire and muck of life will reach a hand out to help through the pain and struggle.

Can I be that man? Can I share that kind of love? Can I lead and love those I intimately, familial, professionally, and/or personally care about? That is a goal for me. Lead and love, not as the superficial eyes see it, but rather with a deep care that is informed by getting below the surface of the relationships in my life and understanding the hearts and minds of those in my care.