The Warrior Ethos

Spartans do not ask how many are the enemy but where are they. Plutarch

For those who strive to be a better version of themselves, it is a daily battle. Very few of us perform on a physical battlefield, yet we have our own dragons which need to be slayed. As we prepare for the fight, what are the tools, skills, and weapons of choice? How are the rules of engagement determined? What brought us to where we are now in seeking to maintain integrity in the midst of the pressure and angst of a fierce fight? We are warriors in battles of our own.

Steven Pressfield describes himself as, “I am a writer. I write about war - external wars and internal wars, wars ancient and modern, real wars out of history and imagined wars that only exist only in speculation. Why? I don’t even know myself.” In his writing, he seems to accurately articulate the strength and authenticity of warriors through the ages. In these past 2 years, he has become one of my favorite authors.

The Warrior Ethos is a concise review of the warrior culture and he starts with the Spartans. He notes how the idea of the warrior started with protecting and providing for one’s own tribe. Strong men and women were the foundation of this warrior culture both in battle and at home. It grew into something that is greater than someone’s own personal pride or vendetta. Being a warrior is about honor, integrity, love, selflessness, strength, purpose, persistence, and much more.

Imagination may take us to an idea of a warrior that we have come to idolize in a movie, show, or book. Think about, “What is it about the warrior that captures our mind and spirit?” As I ponder this question, I also ask myself another question, “How can I live in that warrior spirit?”

This book helped me to tap into my own inner struggles and explore how I can better lead others as a warrior. I am asking myself and encourage you to do the same.

• Am I humble enough to see my own weaknesses and seek to improve upon them?

• Do I live confidently in knowing my strengths and how I can apply them to make myself and others around me have a more significant life?

• Can I set my pride aside and boost others as they experience the glory of a conquerer when they face their own dragons?

• Am I leading well?

A warrior is not on an island as a single, stoic conquerer. They surround themselves with others who serve key roles in their lives. If we are seeking to live a warrior’s life I propose we need people alongside us:

• Mentor - A select few people ahead of us in our journey who can speak wisdom and correction into our lives.

• Cohort - Perhaps a larger group than those who mentor us. These are the ones who fight alongside us, shoulder-to-shoulder. We pick each other up when we stumble. Drag each other out of the fray when we are wounded. Share the dark humor of a fellow combatant.

• Mentee - A select few individuals who will be able to take our place in the role we currently serve when we are no longer there.

I would recommend reading The Warrior Ethos. It is a clear, concise, and thought-provoking work. It can be a great tool to help you overcome your own adversities, struggles, and battles.

If you are interested in leadership mentoring or coaching. Whether it be a short-term mastermind group or one-on-one, I would be happy help. I can be reached at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

First, Break All The Rules

As we bring 2022 to an end and usher in 2023, for those of us interested in leadership and management, this is a great time to dig and contemplate what is or is not working. Picking up and reading, First Break All The Rules has helped me make adjustments to my own way of thinking. Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman have assembled vast amounts of data from multiple companies of varying sizes. The analysis shows principles that great companies and managers implement to make their organizations thrive in competitive markets.

One focus point that I have been seeking to pursue is their understanding of “Talent”. Talent is separate from intelligence, knowledge, or skills. Intelligence is the ability to learn. Knowledge is what you have already learned. Skills are how knowledge and intelligence get applied to tasks. While intelligence, knowledge, and skills are important. Talents are those things that come naturally to someone, without them having to spend a lot of time thinking about what is being done.

Once someone’s talent is understood, the idea of making sure a person is in the proper role is easier to do. One person may have the talent for communicating well in difficult situations. In a client-facing role, this person would need to have knowledge and skills to work with your product or service but they may not need to be the most intelligent, knowledgeable, or skilled. Another person may have the talent for analytical thinking, which could lead to them being the most skilled person for a technical role, but they may not have great client-facing skills.

Both of these talents are crucial to the company’s overall success. If, as a manager, you have these people in the wrong roles your business could stagnate or you may even lose clients by providing a less-than-amazing client experience and a lower-quality product. By shifting the roles of these two people you are more likely to thrive. For those you manage, placing the right people in the role best suited to their talent will go a long way to employee and client satisfaction.

Let me conclude this last post from 2022 with a suggestion for you, begin 2023 with a great book to catapult the enhancement of your leadership and/or management skills. First Break All The Rules is one of many books that will help. I invite you to review the blog on my website where you can find many other recommended choices.

Let’s all pursue growth and greatness in 2023. If there is anything I can do to help encourage or provide direction, feel free to reach out to me at toddrthomsen@gmail.com. Here’s to 2023, a year of significant growth!

Persist, Even if You Have to Crawl

Sometimes the motivation and feelings are just not there. At times emotions will go against what you know is needed. Along with the self-discipline mentioned in my previous post, being persistent and moving forward is necessary for growth. This is true for relationships, physical well-being, financial security, emotional strength, spiritual health, and intellectual development.

Do you find yourself with goals and desires to improve that seem unreachable? Sometimes, what is needed, is to just get started. You may find that it is less difficult than imagined. Perhaps, you will make needed adjustments and your objectives change. Maybe it is a big struggle, but once achieved a sense of accomplishment washes over you. Any of these possibilities can only be realized so long as you persist in making progress.

Taking the time on a periodic basis, to acknowledge where you are and set the next goals is a good habit. This will help make you aware of opportunities for growth. If the goals you set are always easy to obtain, the opportunity to gain ground is greatly diminished.

I encourage you to not read something that is not here. It is okay to have some goals that are less of a struggle. Just make sure you also have, “Big Hairy Audacious Goals” (aka BHAG) that force you to stretch beyond what was once thought to be unachievable. If you persist…even with small bits of progress, you may just surprise yourself.

The greatest victories are a result of pushing through the biggest struggles. Give yourself time, tools, and the patience to keep moving…be persistent. Be aware that along the way there will be mistakes. I like to call this, “falling forward”. When you trip and fall…which you will do; get back up, learn the lesson, then keep pursuing that BHAG.

I am offering my services to those who may be interested in leadership mentoring or coaching. Whether it be a short-term mastermind group or one on one, I would be happy to engage. If you have an interest, feel free to start a conversation with me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

Discipline, What is it All About?

Even though it has been a while since my last post, leadership is still a focus of my daily life. I have allowed other priorities to consume my time. I will get back to a regular posting schedule, just not as frequently as in the past.

Often the word “Discipline” connotes an idea of someone in authority instilling punishment or enforcing corrective actions on someone else. This is a valid definition of the word but does not apply to today’s context. With this post, think of discipline as something you do to and for yourself. It is not an outside source or some other person pushing you.

With this framing of discipline, someone is willing to set aside short-term pleasure or triumph in order to gain a long-term, more significant benefit. For example, if we choose to forgo a sugary breakfast for something more wholesome we will likely have better focus and more enduring energy to pursue the tasks and goals set before us. If we choose to exercise on a regular basis we increase the likelihood of greater overall health, focus, and longevity.

From a leadership perspective, we discipline ourselves by setting aside our own desire to be in the spotlight and receive praise (short-term gain). Instead, we need to coach and mentor those in our care, look to give them opportunities to grow and improve, and turn the focus on them as a group and individuals to receive the praise and adoration for success. We take actions that help remove obstacles that interfere with the success of those in our care.

We absorb and take ownership of situations where our team fell short of a goal or expected outcome. We discipline ourselves to take the time, pause and reflect on how to better prepare the team and each individual for future success. These are opportunities for us to learn and gain insight as leaders.

It is through self-discipline that we experience freedom and become less encumbered by physical, mental, and emotional limitations. We can all improve how we lead. A cornerstone of exceptional leadership is self-discipline.

I have learned from people like Jocko Willink. Although I have never met the man I do consider him a mentor and coach. If the yearning for a better way to lead others is part of your core, I suggest taking some time to read his books and listen to his podcasts. This is the man from whom I adopted this idea of, “Discipline Equals Freedom”.

This is the second in a series of three posts. The previous blog was about intentionality. The next one will be addressing the need for persistence in seeking a purpose for a significant life.

Being Intentional

Sometimes I catch myself having done some task, only to realize my accomplishment was very little, I took the easy way through my day. If I want to break out of the daily (often mundane) routine, it takes work. I have to be intentional about the steps as I grow. I need to push to become more of what I was designed to be.

I believe we each have God-given gifts, talents, and purpose. All of our gifts are unique to us as individuals. Outside of ourselves, no one can tell us the fullness of our purpose. We have each been placed here, on this earth, at this time, for a reason. We are not random, we are not generic, we are uniquely and carefully crafted. It takes intentional work and focus to find our purpose…the reason for our existence.

In your journey, whatever you do, do not give up on yourself and what you were designed to accomplish.

Being intentional is about taking one step at a time. If you want to lose weight, be intentional about being more physically fit. What is one step you can take today, towards better physical fitness? Repeat that step each day, and systematically add another step next week. If you want to be better at relationships, what is one step you can take today towards showing someone you care for them? Let that become a monthly or weekly pattern, intentionally repeating the intent. Start with one step…just one…today, do not wait for tomorrow, next week, next month, a New Years’ resolution.

Being intentional is not complex. It does not take a monumental effort. It is about simple things done with a purpose or goal. It will not include taking the easy route. It demands breaking out of a less healthy routine, replacing it with something better. Making a lifetime of small changes.

The best athletes, greatest families, best public speakers, and strongest leaders did not get there overnight. Nor did they get there on their own. Every one of them, as part of their normal life, is being coached and mentored by others. Having someone to help you stay focused and intentional is key. If I want to be better at an area in my life, I need to find someone who will come alongside me and encourage or if needed push me out of my comfort zone.

This is the first in a series of three posts, where I will address the need for intentionality, discipline, and purpose in a significant life. In my previous post, I shared how motivation is not all we are led to believe.

While you wait for my next post, here is something to consider. I am offering my services to those who may be interested in leadership mentoring or coaching. If you have an interest, feel free to start a conversation with me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

Motivation, How Can I Get Some?

How many motivational phrases have you heard? If you are anything like me, motivation can be great…for a time. Motivation can set my passions on fire, then disappear just as fast as it came on. Motivation is an emotional response and not a purposeful decision.

I have lost count of how many conferences, retreats, or speeches I have attended where I come out telling myself that I will make this or that change. I will be more consistent in some areas of weakness. I will be a better father, friend, lover, worker, a man of faith…or whatever the message was about. I would be convinced that the opportunity is right there for me to take.

Then, Monday morning hits, and I am back into the same old routine. I slide back into my comfort zone. I get caught up in the daily routine.

This is part of the reason I have not gone to a motivational event for years. Motivation does nothing long-term for me. If you are like me, there is something else needed to drive success and significant life. Three words come to mind:

• Intentionality --> conscious, deliberate, knowing, purposeful

• Discipline --> instruct, educate, train, teach

• Persistence --> ceaselessness, continuance, durability, endurance

None of these words have any emotional ties. There is nothing short-term or time-constrained about these ideas. These words refer to honing yourself without regard to your emotional state. The ideas embodied by these words are all about doing rather than feeling.

I strive to put aside motivation. If it is there, great! We have goals to reach, people to love and care for, an impact to make in this world. The only thing stopping me is me. If our single driving force is motivation the passion to take necessary actions will fade. I need to ensure I am intentional, practice discipline, and am persistent. I will make strides every day (no matter how small) towards where I need to be.

I have gone through some significant life changes in the past 5 years. I found mentors who have helped me in each step of the journey. Two of them have become close personal friends. Some of them influence me through consistent messages in their podcasts. I would not be where I am without that help. None of us is an island, we cannot grow on our own.

Stick with me over the next few posts. I will address each of the three keywords mentioned above. In the meantime here is something to consider. I am offering my services to those who may be interested in leadership mentoring or coaching. If you have an interest, feel free to start a conversation with me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

Internal Dialogue. Are You Listening or Telling?

How often do you struggle with thoughts in your head? Have you grappled with how to keep yourself motivated? Are you second-guessing past decisions? Do you find it difficult to navigate choices?

Have you considered that part of why some of these items can be difficult is that you may be listening to an internal dialog rather than telling yourself what needs to be done? Our internal dialog is an interesting phenomenon and is typically informed by our past. I would guess that struggle with things from our less than perfect personal history.

Our personal history is real, informative, and important to understanding where we are. We can choose to live in or learn from the past. This choice informs and influences our present, which in turn will have an effect on our future. Here is an example from my life:

For years I struggled with self-image. Growing up I was always one of the heavier kids among my peers. I played football and was too heavy, by league standards, to play the position I really wanted. I could not keep up with the fast pace on the basketball court. On the baseball field, I was often put in right-field where the action was not likely to come my way. I did not let these situations allow me to play the role of a victim. At the same time, it did leave me with some negative thoughts about my physique and abilities. This informed my internal dialog for years…and I allowed myself to listen.

Now, as an adult, I am in a better place physically, emotionally, and mentally. I got here by telling myself to push through the negative internal dialog…stop listening to the voices in my head from my childhood and younger adult years. I cannot wait to be motivated, rather I am going to be intentional and disciplined. Yet, daily I still struggle with the negative thoughts. I often find my internal voice trying to talk me out of working out, eating well, having quiet time, keeping up with reading, and more.

Our internal dialog should not be ignored as it can keep us from danger. Our internal dialog should also be tempered with an understanding of reality, the likelihood of certain “bad” things from happening (playing the “odds” game"), and telling ourselves we are capable of more than we realize.

This is not a “name it and claim it” message. I want to encourage all of us to pursue our dreams and aspirations wholeheartedly. In that pursuit, put in the blood, sweat, and tears. Success comes from fighting through the learning curve of new endeavors and persevering through the times when you just want to throw something across the room because the task in front of you seems undaunting.

Remember that if success was easy, everyone would be successful. Find your niche. What is it that keeps you moving forward? What is the challenge that when you overcome it, you get a sense of elation and accomplishment? Make it happen!

I am offering my services to those who may be interested in leadership mentoring and/or coaching. If you have an interest, feel free to start a conversation with me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

A Whole New Mind

We are living in an age where more businesses are working with partners and organizations across the globe. In an era of greater competition, the ability to be creative can be a noteworthy influencing factor to success. According to Daniel H. Pink, the current business climate is pushing us beyond the Information Age and into the Conceptual Age.

In part, here is what he means, there are many systematic tasks which can be performed by people in cultures and regions where the cost of living is far lower than many who in wealthier nations. The more skilled people get at programming tasks, scripting repeatable operations, and establishing pre-build decision matrices, the more likely these activities can be done at a lower cost by individuals who live and thrive at a fraction of the cost of someone in the United States, a European nation, Japan, or even Australia or New Zealand. This is not a critique of one culture over another. It is an explanation of how there is a need for all of us, in a global experience, can grow and be more productive in the world around us.

Most of the tasks mentioned above are driven by systematic thinking, which is generally associated with the left side of our brain. Creativity, spirituality, thoughtfulness, and empathy are generally associated with the right side of our brain. Daniel H. Pink sites how his experience with taking a drawing class, participating in acting lessons, and learning from “laughing groups” have helped him and others expand how well both hemispheres of our brains work together. The ability to use both sides of our brain to create better solutions and experiences for the world is the genesis for ushering in the Conceptual Age.

This book was copyrighted in 2005, so some of the references to tools for help with increasing our right-brained thinking are outdated. The concepts and lessons are still just as valid as they were over 15 years ago. Read the book and learn to embrace the value of a good story, having time to play, and being mindful of seeking meaning in our lives. I hope you find it as enjoyable as I have.

I am offering my services to those who may be interested in leadership mentoring and/or coaching. This will be one on one, or very small group interactions on a periodic basis. The intention is to operate in a similar manner as a short-term mastermind. This is to say that there will be a few months of interactions set up as 1-hour sessions once or twice a month. If you have an interest, feel free to start a conversation with me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.

12 Rules For Life - Dr. Jordan B. Peterson

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson is a clinical psychologist from Canada who, over the past few years, has become a well-known public figure. In this book, “12 Rules For Live: An Antidote to Chaos”, he outlines 12 simple rules to help with governing our own lives. These rules are not intended to be the only 12 rules by which to live our lives, but rather a baseline to help us be a better version of ourselves. If this is the first you have read about Dr. Jordan B. Peterson or this book, I hope I can pique your interest.

I was very methodical and intentionally slow in reading this book. I wanted and still want to absorb all of the lessons taught. I would encourage self-reflection while reading through each of these 12 rules.

This whole book has and will continue to influence me in more ways than I can adequately articulate here. I would like to point out specific rules which stuck out to me.

• Rule #2 - Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping

I cannot tell you how many times I have handed out advice, encouragement, and direction which I would not even follow myself. Suggestions about health, spirituality, money, relationships, work, and more as though I had great sage wisdom worth following. I thought I was fulfilling my responsibility to help others…perhaps I was and still am. However, if I am not willing to be responsible for helping myself, how much will others value my suggestions?

As someone who is striving to be a better leader, I need to be leading myself before I am leading others. Am I investing in my future? Am I striving for growth? Am I building a life of significance? I need to be treating myself as someone I am responsible for helping.

• Rule #6 - Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world

The implications here…I stop to ponder. I likely cannot count the number of times I thought I could solve the world’s problems. How many times did I question a professional athlete’s decision under the pressure of a clutch moment? These are just the beginning of thoughts and conversations I have had where I allowed myself to ignore the mess in my own life, thinking I could fix someone else.

I have not, and likely may not ever set my house in perfect order. I have improved significantly over the past couple of years. I have set up disciplines in my life where I seek to improve myself, my life, my home, my relationships, and my finances. That is how I can change the world…by bettering myself.

• Rule #9 - Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t

This one reminds me of a Dalai Lama quote, “When you talk you are only repeating what you know; but when you listen you learn something new.” As a busy professional, I am often tempted to think that things need to happen now. There is no time to delay. In my mind, this means that everyone must listen to me because I have the right answers. When I push down that temptation, pause and listen to the ideas, thoughts, and suggestions of others then I am likely to get a clearer picture. Most often someone else’s recommendation will work out better than my own.

Even if I have to enforce my own decision, I need to at least hear the concerns and thoughts of those who will be responsible for helping to carry through with the steps needed for completion. I can explain my final intent, those in my care can get to that intent in the best way feasible within their realm of knowledge and expertise.

To clarify, my descriptions above are not how Dr. Jordan B. Peterson rolled out these 12 rules. The way it affected me is my take on my response as a result of reading this book. When you pick it up, read it with the intent to find how these rules apply in your own life.

When we are on a flight, and the plane is on its way to the runway, the flight attendants do their safety announcements. During their monolog, we are told that if the pressure drops in the cabin, and the masks fall in front of us, we put on our own mask before helping others secure theirs. In leadership, it is much the same. We need to be leading ourselves well before we can be qualified to have others call us their leader. 12 Rules For Life: An Antidote to Chaos, teaches areas where we can lead ourselves. Pick it up, read it, learn from it, you will not regret it.

Imposter Syndrome, have you ever felt it...what is it?

When handed a new task, duty, job title, or responsibility it is common for my first internal reaction as to question whether I am the right person for the job. Even when I have pursued a new role…for years…and have clearly earned the position, I have a “pucker” moment where I ask, “What have I gotten myself into?”

Over the past 5 years, listening to hundreds of podcasts and reading dozens of books on leadership, personal development, intentional living, understanding human behavior, and more my eyes have been opened to the reality that even the most successful people in business, politics, religion and most other cohort groups deal with (at least in the beginning) doubting their abilities and feeling like they are an imposter in that role. It is normal and we cannot let that hold us back from stepping forward into the growth we will experience. A leader moves into the unknown…even if it is just unknown to them…understanding they will make mistakes yet continuing to move forward seeking improvement, growth, influence, and significance.

Do not let the doubt, the “Imposter Syndrom”, allow us to quit. We may fail, make mistakes, or mess up and we cannot let those things cause us to stop leading and pursuing excellence. When we feel that itching of doubt in our mind…an internal feeling that we are an imposter in our role, keep in mind a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

• “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

The imposter syndrome is real. Do not ignore it or shove it aside. Deal with it, speak to yourself with your own internal dialog to remind yourself that you earned the chance to fulfill that role. Tell yourself that you will grow into the position, then take the steps to do just that.

I am offering my services to those who may be interested in leadership mentoring and/or coaching. This will be one on one, or very small group interactions on a periodic basis. The intention is to operate in a similar manner as a short-term mastermind. This is to say that there will be a few months of interactions set up as 1-hour sessions once or twice a month. If you have an interest, feel free to start a conversation with me at todd@toddrthomsen.com.