Thankfulness in Life

Today, in the United States, we set aside a time to specifically be thankful. Some may say, “be thankful for what?” Well, I would like to share some things for which I am thankful. This is not an exhaustive list, just some key things which occur to me as I am enjoying my Thanksgiving Holiday.

One that I often take for granted is life. What I mean is simply the ability to be alive. Each night, when I go to sleep, there is no guarantee that I will awaken. Every day is a new beginning with fresh opportunities to seek to be better than the day before. When I wake in the morning, as I turn off my alarm, put my feet on the ground and sit up in bed, I thank God for the opportunity to experience another day.

New beginnings is another thing for which I am thankful. I have failed in a number of areas through my past 50 years. Although my past and my failures have influence over me, they do not have to define me. I have learned many lessons from the school of hard knocks. I hope that I get to learn many more. The idea is that I put the past behind me and each day is a new beginning.

My family means the world to me. I have an amazing brother and sister-in-law who have some wonderful children. My own kids are a joy beyond description. I am now a grandpa and it is indescribable how much that warms my heart.

When we take the time to pause during the business of our lives, and review the things for which we are thankful, it helps bring a refreshed perspective. Not everyone can mirror the thankfulness I am expressing here, but each of you can find things in your life which brings an attitude of gratitude and helps shape a thankful heart.

The Dilbert Principle

Most of what I have been reading and reviewing over these past 20+ months has been looking at leadership principles and ideas from a fairly serious perspective. Leading people should be serious however, there comes a time to look at the comedic aspects and learn lessons from a bit of a different perspective. So many working professionals connect with Scott Adams’ creative work in his nationally syndicated comic “Dilbert”. I believe that a principle reason for our appreciation ties to them portraying the prevalent irony in our jobs.

Not only does the reader get to be entertained by Dilbert comics, there are also real-life examples from individual email messages send to Scott Adams. The best comedians address issues and realities of their time and area of influence. They are skilled at making observations of real events, and help their audience find the humor and irony. Scott Adams has masterfully portrayed much of our work culture.

How many of us have heard the corporate message, “Everything is great, sales are up and revenue is higher than last year”, only to be followed (or in some cases preceded) with a reduction in force (aka RIF)? I am not proclaiming that this is funny. With comics like Dilbert, we get to see that this kind of activity is not isolated. The fact that these messages are only hollow, meaningless words is conveyed in a light-hearted and very real manner.

In the final chapter, Scott Adams brings a serious note to a healthy working environment. He introduces a concept he calls Out At 5 (OA5). This is the kind of company that respects the employee’s personal time and life. They compliment the idea that people should be working to live, not living to work. Concepts like focusing on fundamentals, getting out of the employees way to success, and encouraging learning through professional education or training organizations are all part of an OA5 company.

I am learning that the closer we can stay with the KISS (Keep it Simple, Stupid) principle, the better we can execute on providing exceptional service, solutions, and ideas. It is far too easy to over complicate what it takes to provide a quality product at a reasonable price within a reliable time-frame. For some, it is easy to see where complications arise to create difficulties. It is okay to rely on the strengths of others and let them point this stuff out.

As leaders it is imperative that we take time out to think through principles like OA5 and KISS. What are you doing to lead those in your care? More complex processes do not lead to better results. Exhausted workers do not provide higher levels of quality. Larger quantity of product does not equal higher quality yield in outcome. Increased short-term profit does not produce better long-term results.

Keep this in mind as you navigate your work day. Find a mentor who will help you, as they can provide a fresh perspective. Get into a master-mind group to help accelerate your learning and growth. These are just some of the resources each leader needs to succeed is having a significant life and being respected in your role.

Are You an Insecure Leader?

Insecurity is a part of life. Everyone I have spoken with, about life’s deep issues, reveals that we all have certain levels of insecurity. It can permeate so many aspects of our lives. The only way I know of to reduce insecurity is to stop trying new things and stop learning new information…in other words stop growing, stagnate.

We all need to overcome various levels of insecurity in our lives, and often on a daily basis. Here are some things to consider, when you let your insecurities impede your ability to lead well.

Common Traits of an Insecure Leader:

1. They do not provide safety for those in their care. There is an old saying, “you cannot give what you do not have.” When you are letting insecurity drive your leading and decisions the negative impact spreads like ripples in an otherwise smooth surface.

2. They take more than they give. When leading through insecurity, you will always be seeking validation, acknowledgement, acceptance, and love. If this is your focus, you are taking these things away from others who have earned it. As leaders we are called first and foremost to serve and care for others.

3. They are placing a lid on their best performers. What I mean is that you are preventing others from thriving, and excelling with their gifts and abilities. The strongest leaders give away their power and encourage others to succeed beyond their previous, self-imposed limitations.

4. They constantly limit growth and progress within the organization. When a leader undermines the value, accomplishments, and achievements of those they lead, the subordinates (or cohorts) will tend towards discouragement, frustration, and exasperation. When these emotions are prevalent, performance is greatly diminished. We need to aware of and cultivating the strengths of others.

When we are struggling with insecurities, it is important to not stay in that emotional state. The higher up you are in a leadership role (CEO, Father, Mother, Pastor, Teacher, etc.) the broader your influence of others. What are some ways you can overcome insecurities?

• Know yourself - Have you even taken a personality test? If not, there are some good ones available consider looking into Myers-Briggs, DISC, or even Understand Myself (I am not personally endorsing these specific tests, only providing an example of what is available). This may help you with understanding your strengths and how the strengths of others compliment you. Additionally, consider asking others to provide direct, honest feedback on 3 strengths and 3 weaknesses they see in you. If you do this, you cannot under any circumstances allow yourself to lash out or in any way cause others to be disciplined for sharing their observations.

• Learn to give credit away - Not only acknowledge the positive outcomes experienced by the contribution of others, but also recognize the work performed along the way. Seek ways to help those in your care to elevate their own career and personal growth. This has to be genuine. Others will know if it is contrived. If you are not already in the habit of doing this, it will take time to win the trust of others before they will believe you are sincere.

• Get help - There are professionals who are available to provide guidance, insight, and direction in overcoming insecurity. It is not a sign of weakness to seek out help. The best athletes in the world have a team of analysts, coaches, therapists, and mentors around them in order to excel. I know from personal experience that a close and healthy, mentoring relationship can make a huge impact on a leader’s life

Insecurity is real. If we do not overcome our insecurities we will stifle our growth as well as those in our care. If you want your organization, family, club, and friends to thrive then get past your insecurities and help others work through theirs.

Games People Play

“Leadership is about influence. Nothing else.” - John Maxwell

Although I do not whole-heartedly agree with the above quote from John Maxwell I do believe it holds a lot of truth. As leaders we do have influence, we are seeking to persuade, and we strive to comprehend how others think. Effective leaders seek to understand human behavior in general and the specific behaviors of those whom they serve.

If you have followed my musings for long, you know that I am a proponent of having a mentor in your life. My life has been greatly enriched by a small number of mentors. During one meeting with a mentor, it was suggested that I read, Games People Play. In turn, I would recommend this book to others as a tool to gain new insight into how people interact. This is not an exhaustive analysis of transactions between and among people, but it does share a great deal of insight.

Eric Berne was a psychiatrist who studied social transactions. In this book, he defines games differently than we traditionally think. In his own words, “A game is an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well-defined, predictable outcome. Descriptively it is a recurring set of transactions, often repetitious, superficially plausible, with concealed motivation; or, more colloquially, a series of moves with a snare, or ‘gimmick’.” He additionally outlines three “egos” to represent the games or transactions which occur.

As people go through these games that, the transaction can be Parent-to-Parent, Parent-to-Adult, Parent-to Child, Adult-to-Parent, Adult-to-Adult, Adult-to-Child, Child-to-Parent, Child-to-Adult, or Child-to-Child as the ego state. To fully appreciate and understand the games which are played and how they can be detrimental to healthy relationships the book needs to be read with the mindset to absorb and understand its contents. Underline, make notes in the margins, and earmark pages where you find valuable insight.

The book itself is not focused on challenges specific to leadership. I believe that the information conveyed here will contribute to effective leadership as it provides a great insight into how people operate. Not all games being played are negative, but usually individuals affected by negative games will go to seek professional help. Thus, most of what is presented reflects on negatively impacted relationships and how to sort through them.

There is a lot to be gleaned from this book. I highly recommend reading this book with the mindset of discerning which games you may be playing and how those games may be impacting your relationships with others. As a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, school mate, coworker, sibling, manager, or any other role you may fulfill in life someone is looking to you for leadership. The better prepared you are to help, guide, influence, and positively persuade those for whom you care will help you point them in the right direction.

The Innovation Stack

“The purpose of this book is to show you that you don’t have to limit yourself to what has been done before. Becoming an entrepreneur is possible, but it will feel strange.” Jim McKelvey (P. 235).

We often think of an entrepreneur as someone who starts their own business or a sole proprietor. Jim McKelvey challenges this concept. The idea of an entrepreneur presented in The Innovation Stack is someone who finds a completely new set of needs to serve and opens up a market to entirely new set of customers. One of the many examples noted example provided was Herb Kelleher, a co-founder for Southwest Airlines. Southwest Airlines opened up a whole new market and helped lead the way to the deregulation of the airline industry which occurred in 1978. Prior to Southwest Airlines, there were so many government regulations and price controls that only business travelers with sizable travel budgets and the wealthy people could fly for their travel needs. Many analysts were convinced that the only people who wanted to travel by air were the wealthy. Well, Southwest proved analysts wrong, and opened up the airline industry to a whole new market of travelers. Along the way, they did not destroy or tear down the existing airlines, but rather overall passenger count has risen substantially across all airlines since the deregulation.

Jim McKelvey is one of the co-founders of Square, the credit card processing device that can be attached to your smartphone. Square has done something similar for small businesses and revenue for those companies as compared to what Southwest Airlines has done for airline travel. Square has created a new market for small business to more easily sell their goods and services.

Entrepreneurial companies which open up new markets are led by individuals who place themselves into an entirely different set of circumstances from a typical small business owner. These people have to explore the unexplored, solve something no one else has solved, get big businesses or big government bureaucracies to change rules, and do so in such a way that is appealing to a whole new market being under-served.

Near the end of the book, there is a section titled, “You Can’t Unread This”. The point being, after reading this book, we should be able to see problems and realize that they can be overcome. The book really focuses on serving a community that is in need. Jim McKelvey also has a business that trains under-privileged, who want to learn, how to code. The curriculum is designed to meet employers needs while keeping the costs to the student as low as possible. There is a whole story behind the motivation for that business as well, but it is the same entrepreneurial disposition. See a need that is being neglected or under-served and figure out how to better serve the affected community.

I suggest reading this book as it has the potential to open your eyes to a myriad of potential problems that need solving, and you just may be the right person to provide the solution.

Three Simple Things - Leading During Chaos

Have you ever picked up a book, knowing ahead of time that if you honestly assess and implement what is being taught your routine will be disrupted? Have you let that knowledge cause you to hesitate because you are not sure you are willing to do what it takes? This is what I felt going into Thee Simple Things - Leading During Chaos. This book arrived on my doorstep on May 14th, 2020. I let it sit in my nightstand for nearly 3 months before I picked it up. Reading the book itself took less than two weeks. My hesitation was that I knew I would be convinced of the need to change, and I am not always comfortable being uncomfortable. Sometimes I talk a big talk about getting out of my comfort zone, but to be honest I do not always live it out. Well, now after reading this book, I get to work through another adjustment to my life. Time to get uncomfortable again.

In this book, Thom expands a principle of 5 pyramids which he introduced in Unbreakable - A Navy SEAL’s Way of Life These pyramids are key areas of a person’s life (physical, intellectual, wealth, relationship, and spiritual) which need focus and attention on a daily basis. The idea is that with intentional daily focus on all 5 of these pyramids our lives will be lived to the fullest.

The importance of systematically introducing the 5 pyramids and using a building process is critical. If someone starts off trying to implement all of Thom’s recommendations at the same time, success is highly unlikely. Another key here is that failure will occur, you may start believing the excuses in your head like, “this is stupid”, or “I forgot”, or “I do not have the support of my family and friends”. If failure is experienced, it is simply a learning opportunity. I have come to appreciate the fact that I just need to do things because I said I would, and excuses cannot hold me back.

If we look at the great men and women in history, we will see a story of failure after failure, but these people never quit. One quote from the book which I am adopting as a mindset for myself is, “Quitting is the worst disease known to mankind.” I may find myself needing to adjust my goals and vision, slow down my progress, or shift my approach. No matter how tempting it may be while I experience obstacles in life, I cannot let myself quit.

Just how much I apply the lessons from this book to change my life is yet to be seen. Of the leadership books I have read from and posted about to date, this is one about which I have taken the most notes. I have re-referenced this book multiple times just last week alone. I need to remind myself that change and growth are processes not destinations. If I someday reach my goal of whatever job, relationship status, fitness level, etc. which I have set out for myself, that goal is only one step in the continuation of a life well lived.

Anyone interested in being a better spouse, parent, leader, or follower can benefit from what Thom teaches in this book. Realize that we are not an island to ourselves. We all need mentors, mentees, and those around us who will help spur us on to building a better life for ourselves.

Five-Star Leadership - The Art and Strategy of Creating Leaders at Every Level

The sub-title for this book says a lot in one short sentence, “The art and strategy of creating leaders at every level”. In the past 24 months, I have read over 40 books regarding leadership from a variety of authors who are all considered experts. You can check out reviews for most these books on my website. One might tend to think that after reading that much on leadership it is feasible to have learned everything there is available. I would tell you that I have barely scratched the surface. If you have studied either art or strategy it will become abundantly clear that a lifetime can be spent without fully comprehending more than a small degree of either topic.

This book provides a great foundation in understanding the reason behind how leadership is an art and there is strategy. From what I can tell, all branches of the US Military does an outstanding job of teaching men and women of all ages, how to be better leaders. There is much that we can learn from the lessons provided in the history of our military. In Five-Star Leadership you can also see how leaders in business and other arenas have contributed to the overall foundation of our current insight around great leadership.

In reading this book, you can see the value of love and care for others while leading. There are examples of why and how authoritarian type leadership is needed but in small and carefully applied doses. The value of participative and delegatory leadership tactics and styles become more clear. The authors teach on how to build a strong foundation for leadership and just how important it is to ensure you take stock of a situation before taking action.

One principle strength that I gleaned was the importance of ethics in leadership. As a leader, if you are not driven by a high ethical standard, you will undermine your own authority as well as the effectiveness of the whole organization. An unethical leader is an impediment to themselves and many others around them, both up and down the chain of command.

Five-Star Leadership does get into some deep concepts. It requires focus and attention to grasp what is being taught. I found it well worth the effort to read this book, digest what I can, and keep it nearby for future reference. I highly recommend this book for those who are serious about understanding leadership and how it affect the behavior of those around us.

Responsibility - Am I Going to Take Ownership?

Responsibility (noun) - the state of being held as the cause of something that needs to be set right.

There are aspects of true leadership which are messy and unflattering. Often leadership is bearing a load of pressure and demands. If done right, pursuit of these aspects will elevate those in your care and help them excel at the tasks and duties set before them. Being responsible is one of those leadership aspects. Taking responsibility does not guarantee short-term success. Sometimes taking responsibility for things which have gone wrong can be emotionally painful and leave you vulnerable. This does not change how it is the right thing to do.

We can take this to the extreme, which is not helpful either. If my team fails to achieve an objective, I must start by looking at what I could have done differently (did I provide adequate training and preparation, did I lead by example, did I lead from the front?). At the same time, it is not helpful if I coddle those who did not step up and I fail to hold them accountable for their actions.

There is a balance. If I do not start with myself and where I need to grow, take responsibility, and seek improvement then I fail to lead. Well balanced leadership is not something completed or accomplished, but something constantly pursued. A principle key to balanced leadership starts with taking responsibility.

People who take responsibility are often seen with at least these 4 characteristics

1. They get the job done - no excuses. Sometimes there needs to be a resetting of a timeline or expectations, but they get the job done

2. They go the extra mile - help a team mate out. If I tell a cohort, “that is your job, not mine”, I am not helping. Sometimes we all need someone to come along side to give us a hand up, as we strive to achieve the next level of excellence and accomplishment. How much am I willing to help those in need as they strive towards their own aspirations?

3. They are driven by excellence - perfectionists are not needed. Perfection is the enemy of excellence. If I expect perfection then those around me will not achieve greatness as I will be discouraging mistakes along the way. The pursuit of excellence will be filled with physical, emotional, and mental bumps, bruises, scrapes, and mishaps. That is how people make progress. I need to be modeling and encouraging the pursuit of excellence.

4. The produce results without regard to the situation - just get things done. Perhaps I did not lead my team to achieve the ultimate goal, but did we make progress and outperform our past selves? Did I get the tasks completed, Did I help my team grow and produce positive results?

Taking responsibility is about owning the need to improve. If I am to be responsible for those in my care, I need to find a way to elevate their performance. How am I doing that? Beating them down, and discouraging them is not helping. However, giving them a pass on not making enough effort is not good either. I need to be responsible for providing others with the tools, encouragement, discipline, and care it takes for them to succeed. I need to give them the praise when they have done a great job and achieved outstanding results. Only then am I on the right path of taking appropriate responsibility as I strive to lead well.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

In an increasingly technological society, it can be easy to forget or neglect the value of building and sustaining relationships. Some people just seem to have a knack for relating and connecting with others. We can often think that some people are naturally good at building a rapport and others just cannot seem to get it right. We often think that much like our Intelligence Quotient (IQ) or personality, our Emotional Quotient (EQ) is simply a product of our nature.

The authors of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, (Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves) show convincingly that our EQ can be improved. It takes work and diligence. We have to be willing to subject ourselves to a mentor who is genuinely interested in our personal and professional development. It will be messy at times and exciting at others, but we can all grow in our emotional intelligence.

The book describes how we can often fall into the trap of letting an emotional response cause us to lock up or freeze in our actions, but we can work through initial fear, anger, concern, or other real emotional reactions. When we allow ourselves to be taught, to pause and think, and carefully formulate response which shows clear thinking. Our knee-jerk reaction can be good in certain circumstances, understanding those times and knowing when to use a clearly thought out response takes time, experience, and a teachable humble attitude.

Read through this book, the initial ~55 pages give the necessary background and guides an understanding of the assessment results. After taking the initial assessment, the reader is provided with an outline of areas to focus and develop their emotional intelligence. Once time has passed and the work of development and growth has been progressing, you can then retake the assessment and see where there has been gains. Take the time to expand your emotional intelligence, it will help with relationship building throughout all facets of life.

Strengths Based Leadership

Strengths Based Leadership

In my experience we often evaluate workers on a specific set of criteria or objectives tied to job descriptions. Our annual reviews are chocked full of notes which tell us how we were deficient in one or more of our responsibilities. We are told, that on a scale from 1 - 5 (with 5 being the best score), every area where we are less than perfect. I can only speak for myself, but when I have worked diligently and given what I thought was more than expected, then am told in writing and verbally, just how much I am lacking in areas of “competency”, I am at the least emotionally deflated. I have to conscientiously pull myself out of negative thoughts and feelings to push on towards excellence.

There is great value in having reviews and seeking areas for improvement. However, I believe that Don Clifton came up with something which I believe is a better approach for career planning. In 1999, Don Clifton created an online assessment called StrengthsFinder. The idea was to help businesses and workers to find out where individuals have strengths across 34 unique themes. We can then use these strengths along with the individual’s aptitudes to develop more efficient and effective teams.

Tom Rath is Don Clifton’s grandson and has continued in the legacy of seeking out how to help people find and develop their strengths. Pick up a copy of “StrengthsFinder2.0”, and you will find out the basics about these 34 themes. If it is a new book, you should also find a sealed insert near the back of the book, with a code and website where you can take the “StrengthsFinder2.0” assessment. You will find it helpful and enlightening as a tool to help with personal and professional growth.

“Strengths Based Leadership” gives you access to take the “StrengthsFinder2.0” assessment. Additionally, it provides insight into aspects which helping in team leadership. Someone can certainly pick up this book and read it from cover to cover, but that is not the primary intent. The initial ~100 pages provides insight into the value of understanding people’s strengths. The rest of the book serves as a compilation of reference information to help with the implementing the idea of leading with, and playing to our strengths as an individual and those in our care.

I have a good friend who is quick to remind me and others, we are leaders if we are a brother, sister, mother, father, aunt, uncle, grand parent, teacher, coach, manager, technical lead, or many other titles which can be handed out. We all lead at some level. Successful leadership is intentional, learning, growing, and always seeking to improve. This book provides the reader with tools to assist in seeking to continually develop and improve leadership skills.