Insecurity is a part of life. Everyone I have spoken with, about life’s deep issues, reveals that we all have certain levels of insecurity. It can permeate so many aspects of our lives. The only way I know of to reduce insecurity is to stop trying new things and stop learning new information…in other words stop growing, stagnate.
We all need to overcome various levels of insecurity in our lives, and often on a daily basis. Here are some things to consider, when you let your insecurities impede your ability to lead well.
Common Traits of an Insecure Leader:
They do not provide safety for those in their care. There is an old saying, “you cannot give what you do not have.” When you are letting insecurity drive your leading and decisions the negative impact spreads like ripples in an otherwise smooth surface.
They take more than they give. When leading through insecurity, you will always be seeking validation, acknowledgement, acceptance, and love. If this is your focus, you are taking these things away from others who have earned it. As leaders we are called first and foremost to serve and care for others.
They are placing a lid on their best performers. What I mean is that you are preventing others from thriving, and excelling with their gifts and abilities. The strongest leaders give away their power and encourage others to succeed beyond their previous, self-imposed limitations.
They constantly limit growth and progress within the organization. When a leader undermines the value, accomplishments, and achievements of those they lead, the subordinates (or cohorts) will tend towards discouragement, frustration, and exasperation. When these emotions are prevalent, performance is greatly diminished. We need to aware of and cultivating the strengths of others.
When we are struggling with insecurities, it is important to not stay in that emotional state. The higher up you are in a leadership role (CEO, Father, Mother, Pastor, Teacher, etc.) the broader your influence of others. What are some ways you can overcome insecurities?
Know yourself - Have you even taken a personality test? If not, there are some good ones available consider looking into Myers-Briggs, DISC, or even Understand Myself (I am not personally endorsing these specific tests, only providing an example of what is available). This may help you with understanding your strengths and how the strengths of others compliment you. Additionally, consider asking others to provide direct, honest feedback on 3 strengths and 3 weaknesses they see in you. If you do this, you cannot under any circumstances allow yourself to lash out or in any way cause others to be disciplined for sharing their observations.
Learn to give credit away - Not only acknowledge the positive outcomes experienced by the contribution of others, but also recognize the work performed along the way. Seek ways to help those in your care to elevate their own career and personal growth. This has to be genuine. Others will know if it is contrived. If you are not already in the habit of doing this, it will take time to win the trust of others before they will believe you are sincere.
Get help - There are professionals who are available to provide guidance, insight, and direction in overcoming insecurity. It is not a sign of weakness to seek out help. The best athletes in the world have a team of analysts, coaches, therapists, and mentors around them in order to excel. I know from personal experience that a close and healthy, mentoring relationship can make a huge impact on a leader’s life
Insecurity is real. If we do not overcome our insecurities we will stifle our growth as well as those in our care. If you want your organization, family, club, and friends to thrive then get past your insecurities and help others work through theirs.