I would be very curious as to whether someone who reads this, is a hostage negotiator. I highly doubt it, but if you are, I would greatly appreciate your feedback on this book. I found it a very interesting read. I am not in sales, thus when this was first suggested I was convinced I would struggle to connect with the message. I was quickly proven wrong.
The ideas, techniques, and approaches taught in Never Split the Difference, are applicable to many areas of life. We will all negotiate the purchase of a vehicle or a home. At work, we often negotiate with others as we juggle priorities and resources. Concepts learned can be put to practice within days or even hours of reading and learning.
This idea is not so much about the techniques themselves as it is about your mindset, authentic care for those involved, and passionate pursuit of the best outcome. One thing I found interesting is that Chris Voss completely dispels the myth that “Good Cop, Bad Cop” is a beneficial negotiation method. The focus on someone being the bad guy is not helpful.
There are so many nuggets, which just means this book will become part of my permanent library. I learned about “Mirroring” and “Restating”, the value and importance of getting to “No”, and many other key ideas around negotiations.
Something I disagreed with is the suggestion of using phrases that start with, “I’m sorry…”. Back in March 2020, I posted a review of the book, “Crucial Conversations”. A principle taught in “Crucial Conversations” is to avoid apologizing about things for which you are not responsible. Now, admittedly I am not negotiating in a hostage crisis scenario. I can speak from experience how the use of, “sorry”, has become a hollow word, void of its true meaning. It is one of those words which often gets used by many to avoid the circumstances from their own mistakes.
Chris Voss did a great job with this book, it was well written and easy to understand. It is practical and the information is usable in almost any negotiation situation. A leader is much more effective as they seek to influence rather than being authoritarian. The skills learned from this book will certainly help in being influential.