Self Discipline - You Must First Lead Yourself

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When your principle approach to leadership is one of, “do as I say”, and you are in a position of authority then you are likely to get immediate compliance but it is unlikely that any hearts or minds have been won to your perspective. Effective leadership focuses on influencing others to buy into where you want others to follow…and eventually have them take over as leaders themselves. I would argue that the true benefits of effective leadership is not measured by the number of followers you have but rather the number of leaders you help develop. A key to effective leadership is to be an example, live out self-discipline, develop and lead yourself.

When you get a chance, look up the story of Jerry Rice, former NFL Wide Receiver for the San Francisco 49ers. This is a man who may be considered to be the greatest player in NFL history, for his position. The Jerry Rice story is one of self-discipline when he could have been successful on his talent alone.

Self-discipline does not show up over-night and requires a constant vigil to keep up the pursuit towards excellence, purpose, and goals. Here are a few areas of focus where action can be taken to help.

  • Develop and follow your priorities

    • What really are your priorities? When thinking through this, remember that we all have strengths and weaknesses as well as limitations. Not everything can be a priority

    • Let go of things that are not one of your priorities. In the busyness of life, we can easily get side-tracked with things that may seem (or even may really be) important. If these things do not aid in your priorities, consider letting go of them.

  • Self-discipline needs to be a lifestyle

    • Develop routines in life which compliment and build on your priorities. The idea of developing routines does not indicate that everything will change in a day. Take steps to seek progression day by day. There is a compounding affect in progress, you may not see all of the benefits in a week, a month, or possibly even a year. Over time you will be amazed at the progress

  • Challenge your excuses

    • We all struggle with self-discipline. Write down the things you see as reasons that you might be pulled away from your priorities. Label those things as excuses along with a self-determining promise to not fall into the excuse trappings. Then when the excuses come up in your mind take action to overcome them.

  • Remove rewards until the job is complete

    • There are all kinds of rewards and incentives that you can put in place for yourself and others, as it relates to reaching goals that fulfill the drive towards your priorities. In work, school, athletics, and many other areas in life, if slackers and peak performers are all rewarded the same we end up with more slackers. This holds true in your personal life as well. Reward yourself for hard work once the goal is accomplished, not just because you are participating in the process

  • Stay focused on the results

    • There will be obstacles to focusing on your priorities. Actually, the closer you are to fulfilling your priorities the bigger those obstacles will seem. A World War II bomber pilot knew that they were getting close to their target as the enemy’s anti-aircraft firepower became more intense. Steven Pressfield does a great job in describing the reality obstacles present in his book, “The War of Art”. Do not let the obstacles become your focus…keep your eye on the prize.

How does one go about implementing self-discipline? I would not say that there is a formula or some special list of tasks. Each of us will employ self-discipline in a way that makes the most sense to us fulfilling our priorities. Here are some thoughts around guidelines which may help.

  • Sort out your priorities

    • Limit this list to a small number of 3 - 5 is my suggestion. We cannot fulfill every tasks requested of us. Write out these priorities and put it in a place that you will review on a daily basis. Use this list as a reminder and a set of guidelines as to what you should or should not be doing.

  • List the reasons

    • Here is an area where you establish your “Why”. Why are those 3 - 5 priorities on your list? What is the benefit to keeping those as your priorities? This is a personal list which only you can determine and validate.

  • Get rid of excuses

    • Write down the excuses that you know you will come up with in the pursuit of self-discipline. Determine in your mind, “these are only excuses and they will not deter me.” If other excuses come up as you progress, put them on the list as well.

I recently had the privilege to be in a small group, where we had a discussion with Jason Redman, retired Navy SEAL. A comment he shared, which resonates loudly in my mind, is paraphrased as follows.

The three priorities in leadership, in order of priority are:

  • Lead yourself

  • Lead others

  • Lead always

I believe we are all called to be leaders in some capacity. Even if it feels like the progress towards your priorities is at a snail’s pace, keep going do not stop! If you stumble and fall, make a mistake, feel like you have failed…do not quit! Your persistence in self-discipline will be a leadership example and influence to others who are in your care. This is the first tool in your leadership toolbox.