How often are you listening to those in your care? Not just hearing what they are saying, but really listening. Have you taken the time to try an understand someone, so that when they are having a bad day you know how to get to the root of the problem? In order to do this, it is necessary to have built an authentic relationship, which takes time.
It requires consistent patience to be able to truly listen and pick up on the needs of those around you. How often are you willing to sit and just listen someone fully express their idea, even when you disagree? Do you get impatient and cut them off before they finish, assuming that you know what they intend or that you know better? “Many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request - Philip Stanhope, The 4th Earl of Chesterfield.
If you know someone well, there will be hints and signs that you can see or hear, that can lead you to understanding their heart. There is a Cherokee Proverb that states, “Listen to the whispers and you won’t have to hear the screams”. Take this as an admonition to pay attention to the small voice inflections, body language, reduction in participation, heightened irritability and many of the other signs that something may be wrong. This can help in working through issues before there is an escalation to the point of a broken or irreconcilable relationship.
“I remind myself every morning: nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So, if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” - Larry King. This is a great reminder of the need to listen. If you are listening there is an opportunity to double your knowledge or wisdom. You will not only have your own insight but you will also be able to gain from the experience of others.
Have you found a mentor? If not, find someone who has success and significance in an area where you would like to grow. Offer to buy them coffee, breakfast, or lunch once a month if they would be willing to carve out 30 or even 60 minutes of their precious time to be with you. No leader is so advanced or experience that he or she can afford to be without a mentor.
Listening is an art. It is developed over time. The more you listen with the intent of being a better listener, the better you will get. Do not take my word for it, put it to practice. If I am wrong, let me know.