Teachability: Learning, Growing, and Being Teachable is Crucial for Effective Leadership

Being teachable is a sign of humility and valuing the input of others. As leaders, we have far more influence on those around us as we seek to learn from even the most Jr. of our teams. Remember when you were first given the opportunity to contribute to the growth of others…or teach someone a new skill, perspective, or observation? What kind of influence did that have on you? For me, It spurred on a greater desire to contribute even more. This fostered a hunger for professional and personal growth. When we have a teachable heart and attitude, it helps others around us grow and in doing so leads the team or company to even more significance and success.

The things that we feed in our lives will grow. If we focus on insecurities we will become defensive, argumentative, and narcissistic. If we focus on loneliness, we become needy and cling to others. When our focus is on learning and being teachable we grow and influence others around us to do the same. It is imperative to understand that we are constantly in motion towards success and significance or distraction and destruction.

As we strive to be teachable…to help grow in our own lives and influence the growth in those around us, here are some things to consider

• Cure Your “Destination Disease”. Goals are great and important. What kinds of goals are we setting? Once that goal is achieved are we setting the next target or just basking in some kind of glory? Once we stop striving towards goals which stretch us beyond our area of comfort, that is when we stop growing and start back-sliding

• Overcome Your Success. What got us here…to this level of success…will not get us to the next place where we need to grow. Learn what is necessary from how we got here, but we cannot live in the past

• Swear off from Shortcuts. It seems like every day we get to hear about quick fixes, hacks, cheats, and more. There is no substitute for hard work, diligence, learning from mistakes, risking the making of mistakes, and hours of blood, sweat, and tears when striving for success.

• Trade in Your Pride. No one knows everything. Even if we have been doing our job for 15+ years, we can still learn from a newcomer. Using our positional authority and/or industry experience to win a dispute only causes others to lose their respect for us.

• Never Pay Twice for the Same Mistake. We will all make mistakes so long as we are trying to improve. Be willing to step out into an area not previously explored. There will be bumps and bruises that come with these actions. Learn from them, and avoid making the same mistake time and again.

• Observe How You React to Mistakes. Are we passing the blame, playing the victim, or obfuscating responsibility? If so, learning will not come. Apologize when appropriate, admit our mistakes, take ownership and put together a plan on how to overcome.

• Try Something New. Often we will need to approach a situation from a different perspective. If we are not in the habit of slowing down to think through an opinion opposite to our own maybe there will be is a new tool to use. Force a break in daily patterns to help challenge our status-quo which may provide breakthroughs.

• Pursue Continued Learning in Your Area of Strength. There is always something new we could learn from others in areas where we are strong. In athletics through my youth and young adult years, I was constantly reminded that no matter how good I get, there will always be someone better. We always have someone from which we can learn more, even in areas where we already thrive.

There are few things in life which provide a greater ability to influence others than being teachable. I know that the more I believe that I am helping leaders in my life to grow by what I am learning and teaching, the more I will want to continue that pattern. Sometimes being teachable is a struggle. Life can seem easier if we just coast after we have earned that degree or certificate. If we truly want to be leaders who influence others to greatness, keep a teachable spirit and learning heart.

Servanthood: Great Leaders Put Others First

Leadership…what is it? I like the quote from Ronald Reagan, “The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one who gets the people to do the greatest things.” The reality is, defining leadership is a bit like trying to grab hold of a cloud. You know it is there, it is visible, it appears to be tangible, but you cannot simply clasp it in your hands.

Often leadership is something more about a person’s way of living…pursuit of integrity, character, being a positive example, along with a myriad of outward expressions. I would purpose part of leadership is a culmination of outward expressions of inward attitudes which influence those around us.

One key outward expression of leadership would be “Servanthood”. Merriam-Webster defines servant as, “one who serves others”. Many of us have read or heard about the Battle of Thermopylae. King Leonidas was a man over 60 years old, who still lived by the Spartan way of life. I suggest reading, “Gates of Fire” by Steven Pressfield to get a bit more insight into King Leonidas. This king did his leading from the front. He did not look at his role of being king as a reason to stay behind and command his men from a thrown or castle. He provided direction and oversight to the training and preparations needed for these elite warriors. He instilled self-discipline to ensure he was up for the battles within which he would be called to lead. King Leonidas served shoulder to shoulder with the men he sent into battle.

Servanthood is a high calling. There are a lot of demands and pressures in willingly serving others. It can be lonely, agonizing, thankless, and often emotionally painful when you as a leader are focused on serving those in your care. Without understanding and living in the struggles which com from servanthood in leadership you will fail to see the absolute joy, thrill, excitement, and exhilaration which comes from seeing the success and growth of those in your care.

In terms of servanthood leadership, one must seek to be the embodiment of certain key characteristics. These listed below are each a unique outward manifestation of inward attitudes and desires.

• Put Others Ahead of your Own Agenda. Do we know those in our care well enough to understand their true needs? Do we make ourselves available to help others even while we have the demands of our own tasks? Are we seeking to understand the desires and needs of those in our care are important to us?

• Possess the Confidence to Serve. Are we treating others with the respect and honor they have earned through their own dedication to trade craft? Do we give the power of decision making to others who need it for their growth?

• Initiating Service to Others. Are we looking for areas where there is a need? When we see these needs, are we getting to work in contributing a solution? In doing these things are we abstaining from drawing attention to ourselves?

• Not Being, “Position Conscious”. When we get the wanted job title, pay raise, corner office, or any other outward express of being in authority are we still willing to lead from the front? Leading from the front is not someone in the “C-Suite” telling front-line people how to do their job (aka micromanaging), rather it is helping others catch the vision by showing them how we live that vision.

• Serving out of Love. Our love and care for those around us defines how much influence we have over them. If we serve out of love and real compassion for the success of those in our care, we will avoid using authoritarian means unless in extreme and extremely rare circumstances.

• Stop Lording Over People. If the use of our position of authority is required to get the work done, we need to examine ourselves…are we truly leading? One time I heard this statement, “Authority is like a bar of soap. The more we use it the less we have.” If we have to use our position of authority to force compliance, we are not leading and we will lose respect.

• Stop Role Playing for Achievement. Sometimes we are tempted can act one way to impress others as a way to gain a higher stature or position. This is not leadership. Be your true authentic self. How many of you remember in IBM’s Lotus 1-2-3…in the 1990s the WYSIWYG setting? We need to live a WYSIWYG way of leading.

• Stop Seeking Your Way. We may be the most experienced person in the room, this only means we have been doing something longer than others…not necessarily smarter than others. We have smart people around us, seek their input and let them give you a reason to trust them.

How do we go about leading with a servant’s heart?

• Find small things we can do to show care for others. Perhaps a hand written note on a special occasion, or even without there being a special occasion.

• Learn to walk slowly through a crowd. Pause and have conversations while you are staying focused on achieving goals. Build the relationships with those in your care. Use a person’s name in conversations with them.

We are all called to lead. Others around us are watching and taking their cues from how they see us respond and react. If you want to influence others to greatness, show them how to serve others. The extent to how many we can serve and encourage others to do the same will reveal the heart we have to care for and about them.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

As I think through how I want to present the insights I gained from reading this book, I start to second guess myself. After all, the title of the book uses what many consider to be foul language. Then, I re-read the title of the book, recall the principle message being conveyed in this book, and realize that I am caring to much about what others think of me. In essence, I am being self-absorbed instead of staying focused on what is really important.

I would not necessarily label this book as a leadership or business book. The message is about simplifying the garbage that can clutter our minds, which in turn will help us focus on what is really important. For example, when I focus on improving in my profession as a way to gain more material goods (nice house, new cars, fun boat, etc.) then when I achieve those goals, I am left with nothing else to pursue. If my focus is to improve so that I can have more expertise and help others to grow, that is a goal that does not have an end and helps me understand that there will always be room for improvement.

I often fall into the trap of my insecurities. Usually, it is because I am comparing myself to others, playing the “victim”, or wanting to be the center of attention. If I seek to lean on someone else (lover, friend, family member, coworker, etc.) to assuage my insecurities I am placing an undue burden on them. This is the foundation for an unhealthy relationship. I need to cope with my insecurities in the light of understand that they are usually a result of caring about things that should not be on the radar of real-life concerns.

Not too long ago, I recently published a self-discipline blog post. This book falls into the realm of teaching us one way we can implement self-discipline with our thoughts and concerns. It is often our thoughts, based on insecurity which fuel bad decisions. Am I angry with my boss? Perhaps it is because I am focused on my own insecurities which clash with the what is being asked of me. Am I jealous because my lover/spouse will not give me the attention I think I deserve? Perhaps, I am being a narcissist, self-absorbed, entitled, petulant child in my own mind and ignoring the pressures my lover/spouse is facing in their mind.

The point here is, we all deal with this garbage in our minds and in our lives. Learn to push through unnecessary things that consume our thoughts. Set aside the, “entitled brat”, in your own mind and learn to focus on things that really matter. It is a freeing experience and helps you lead a more fulfilling life.

Self Discipline - You Must First Lead Yourself

When your principle approach to leadership is one of, “do as I say”, and you are in a position of authority then you are likely to get immediate compliance but it is unlikely that any hearts or minds have been won to your perspective. Effective leadership focuses on influencing others to buy into where you want others to follow…and eventually have them take over as leaders themselves. I would argue that the true benefits of effective leadership is not measured by the number of followers you have but rather the number of leaders you help develop. A key to effective leadership is to be an example, live out self-discipline, develop and lead yourself.

When you get a chance, look up the story of Jerry Rice, former NFL Wide Receiver for the San Francisco 49ers. This is a man who may be considered to be the greatest player in NFL history, for his position. The Jerry Rice story is one of self-discipline when he could have been successful on his talent alone.

Self-discipline does not show up over-night and requires a constant vigil to keep up the pursuit towards excellence, purpose, and goals. Here are a few areas of focus where action can be taken to help.

• Develop and follow your priorities

  • What really are your priorities? When thinking through this, remember that we all have strengths and weaknesses as well as limitations. Not everything can be a priority

  • Let go of things that are not one of your priorities. In the busyness of life, we can easily get side-tracked with things that may seem (or even may really be) important. If these things do not aid in your priorities, consider letting go of them.

• Self-discipline needs to be a lifestyle

  • Develop routines in life which compliment and build on your priorities. The idea of developing routines does not indicate that everything will change in a day. Take steps to seek progression day by day. There is a compounding affect in progress, you may not see all of the benefits in a week, a month, or possibly even a year. Over time you will be amazed at the progress

• Challenge your excuses

  • We all struggle with self-discipline. Write down the things you see as reasons that you might be pulled away from your priorities. Label those things as excuses along with a self-determining promise to not fall into the excuse trappings. Then when the excuses come up in your mind take action to overcome them.

• Remove rewards until the job is complete

  • There are all kinds of rewards and incentives that you can put in place for yourself and others, as it relates to reaching goals that fulfill the drive towards your priorities. In work, school, athletics, and many other areas in life, if slackers and peak performers are all rewarded the same we end up with more slackers. This holds true in your personal life as well. Reward yourself for hard work once the goal is accomplished, not just because you are participating in the process

• Stay focused on the results

  • There will be obstacles to focusing on your priorities. Actually, the closer you are to fulfilling your priorities the bigger those obstacles will seem. A World War II bomber pilot knew that they were getting close to their target as the enemy’s anti-aircraft firepower became more intense. Steven Pressfield does a great job in describing the reality obstacles present in his book, “The War of Art”. Do not let the obstacles become your focus…keep your eye on the prize.

How does one go about implementing self-discipline? I would not say that there is a formula or some special list of tasks. Each of us will employ self-discipline in a way that makes the most sense to us fulfilling our priorities. Here are some thoughts around guidelines which may help.

• Sort out your priorities

  • Limit this list to a small number of 3 - 5 is my suggestion. We cannot fulfill every tasks requested of us. Write out these priorities and put it in a place that you will review on a daily basis. Use this list as a reminder and a set of guidelines as to what you should or should not be doing.

• List the reasons

  • Here is an area where you establish your “Why”. Why are those 3 - 5 priorities on your list? What is the benefit to keeping those as your priorities? This is a personal list which only you can determine and validate.

• Get rid of excuses

  • Write down the excuses that you know you will come up with in the pursuit of self-discipline. Determine in your mind, “these are only excuses and they will not deter me.” If other excuses come up as you progress, put them on the list as well.

I recently had the privilege to be in a small group, where we had a discussion with Jason Redman, retired Navy SEAL. A comment he shared, which resonates loudly in my mind, is paraphrased as follows.

The three priorities in leadership, in order of priority are:

• Lead yourself

• Lead others

• Lead always

I believe we are all called to be leaders in some capacity. Even if it feels like the progress towards your priorities is at a snail’s pace, keep going do not stop! If you stumble and fall, make a mistake, feel like you have failed…do not quit! Your persistence in self-discipline will be a leadership example and influence to others who are in your care. This is the first tool in your leadership toolbox.

Greater Than Yourself - The Ultimate Lesson of True Leadership

Many of the best leaders I have witnessed or experienced understand the idea of “Servant Leadership”. It is not about letting someone walk all over you or treat you disrespectfully. The idea is about caring for those around you, influencing them in a positive and fruitful direction, and providing discipleship to help redirect efforts. In this book, Steve Farber provides a framework worthy of serious consideration for intentionally leading others.

This book teaches valuable lessons through a leadership fable. The story line is fictitious and helpful in learning how to apply three principles outlined in the “Greater Than Yourself” (GTY) concept. These principles are, “Expand Yourself”, “Give Yourself”, “Replicate Yourself”. I will not due justice to these principles here, but allow me to expand just a little.

“Expand Yourself” - This is the idea that you should never stop learning and growing experientially. The concept is one that should be present in all leaders. For example, Winston Churchill was an author, artist, armature bricklayer, and a very well read man. It is critical to lead yourself in many areas so that you ensure your own growth.

“Give Yourself” - Here the idea is that you have communicated with someone that you would like to be in a partnership. Share that you have seen immense untapped potential and would like an opportunity to see if the two of you can work together to help spark growth. Often, when one is giving of themselves they will find their own growth as well.

“Replicate Yourself” - Do not mistake this as an idea where someone needs to act as a clone of you. The focus here is to “pay forward” the gift of having been a recipient of someone giving of themselves. The best gift you can give to most mentors is to be a mentor yourself. That is the expectation here, the person you are giving yourself to, will need to be committed to do the same in the future.

In gleaning from the framework of this book an additional idea is highlighted and worthy of note. The reader is encouraged act on the GTY concept before speaking publicly about its benefits. Another way to say this would be to, “walk the walk, before you talk the talk”. So often when I read something insightful or beneficial, I am tempted to think that someone else needs to absorb this lesson. The truth is that I need the lessons being taught, and when reading for my own improvement I do not need to focus on what someone else should learn. Apply the lessons to my life so that I can “walk the walk before I talk the talk”.

I would highly recommend this book for anyone, anywhere within their leadership experience. The book is engaging, entertaining, and educational. I read it in one weekend without it having a significant interference with other things needing my attention.

The Way of the Warrior - Business Tactics and Techniques from History's Twelve Greatest Generals

I have a fascination for military history. It is just budding in the last couple of years and has been coupled with my desire to learn more about and improve in my own leadership. When I picked up The Way of the Warrior, I figured that it was a great blend of these two areas. In the United States, our military has developed some of the best leadership training and experiences available. I have much to learn and I seek to glean from our military as much as I can.

I do not want to confuse authority with leadership. Authority is positional where leadership is influential. Just because someone is in authority it does not mean that they know how to lead. Leadership principles have been around since the dawning of time. No one has created or discovered them. They just exist. Some leaders have used these principles more effectively than others. This book shows leadership principles used by people in authority, but these ideas apply today to all of us.

This book highlights 12 military leaders (11 from Western cultures and 1 from the East). These leaders had their faults and many did some inscrutable things, but that is not the focus of this book. The authors sought to highlight key principles from each military leader, which helped them become successful. Some of the men in the book are Alexander the Great, Genghis Kahn, Gustavus Adolphus, Napoleon, Ulysses S. Grant, and Norman Schwarzkopf. Each of whom had strengths in key leadership principles and learned how to employ them effectively. Some of the key principles discussed are around ideas like communication, courage, building alliances, vision, decisiveness, training and discipline, and leading by example.

I enjoyed gaining a better understanding on how others in history have found success in the applying of their leadership strengths. Many of these individuals also had high level subordinates who filled gaps of their own leadership weaknesses. This highlights the importance of mentors and surrounding yourself with people you trust, who will challenge you to grow and continually improve. Reading this book can fulfill a piece of what a mentor does, but it does not provide the proper follow up and proper direction in application to your personal situation.

I have been truly blessed to have two key mentors in my life over the past few years. Also, in this time of endless opportunities to learn, podcasts have become an additional tool for my personal leadership growth. I am consistently seeking to learn from people who are psychologists, pilots, retired Navy SEALs, and many more areas of expertise. The more I learn, the more I realize that I am only at the beginning stages of exploring leadership principles.

I seek to be a better leader, not only for my own personal growth and achievement, but also to help others strive to be better leaders themselves. If you are a parent, teacher, physician, plumber, or any other role as an adult, you are also a leader. I believe you must first lead yourself, then you can lead others. Without leading yourself it may be impossible to effectively lead others. I seek to lead myself by pursuing discipline in physical fitness, active mental engagement, learning to listen, seeking mentorship, and improving my communication. I encourage you to do the same.

Thankfulness in Life

Today, in the United States, we set aside a time to specifically be thankful. Some may say, “be thankful for what?” Well, I would like to share some things for which I am thankful. This is not an exhaustive list, just some key things which occur to me as I am enjoying my Thanksgiving Holiday.

One that I often take for granted is life. What I mean is simply the ability to be alive. Each night, when I go to sleep, there is no guarantee that I will awaken. Every day is a new beginning with fresh opportunities to seek to be better than the day before. When I wake in the morning, as I turn off my alarm, put my feet on the ground and sit up in bed, I thank God for the opportunity to experience another day.

New beginnings is another thing for which I am thankful. I have failed in a number of areas through my past 50 years. Although my past and my failures have influence over me, they do not have to define me. I have learned many lessons from the school of hard knocks. I hope that I get to learn many more. The idea is that I put the past behind me and each day is a new beginning.

My family means the world to me. I have an amazing brother and sister-in-law who have some wonderful children. My own kids are a joy beyond description. I am now a grandpa and it is indescribable how much that warms my heart.

When we take the time to pause during the business of our lives, and review the things for which we are thankful, it helps bring a refreshed perspective. Not everyone can mirror the thankfulness I am expressing here, but each of you can find things in your life which brings an attitude of gratitude and helps shape a thankful heart.

The Dilbert Principle

Most of what I have been reading and reviewing over these past 20+ months has been looking at leadership principles and ideas from a fairly serious perspective. Leading people should be serious however, there comes a time to look at the comedic aspects and learn lessons from a bit of a different perspective. So many working professionals connect with Scott Adams’ creative work in his nationally syndicated comic “Dilbert”. I believe that a principle reason for our appreciation ties to them portraying the prevalent irony in our jobs.

Not only does the reader get to be entertained by Dilbert comics, there are also real-life examples from individual email messages send to Scott Adams. The best comedians address issues and realities of their time and area of influence. They are skilled at making observations of real events, and help their audience find the humor and irony. Scott Adams has masterfully portrayed much of our work culture.

How many of us have heard the corporate message, “Everything is great, sales are up and revenue is higher than last year”, only to be followed (or in some cases preceded) with a reduction in force (aka RIF)? I am not proclaiming that this is funny. With comics like Dilbert, we get to see that this kind of activity is not isolated. The fact that these messages are only hollow, meaningless words is conveyed in a light-hearted and very real manner.

In the final chapter, Scott Adams brings a serious note to a healthy working environment. He introduces a concept he calls Out At 5 (OA5). This is the kind of company that respects the employee’s personal time and life. They compliment the idea that people should be working to live, not living to work. Concepts like focusing on fundamentals, getting out of the employees way to success, and encouraging learning through professional education or training organizations are all part of an OA5 company.

I am learning that the closer we can stay with the KISS (Keep it Simple, Stupid) principle, the better we can execute on providing exceptional service, solutions, and ideas. It is far too easy to over complicate what it takes to provide a quality product at a reasonable price within a reliable time-frame. For some, it is easy to see where complications arise to create difficulties. It is okay to rely on the strengths of others and let them point this stuff out.

As leaders it is imperative that we take time out to think through principles like OA5 and KISS. What are you doing to lead those in your care? More complex processes do not lead to better results. Exhausted workers do not provide higher levels of quality. Larger quantity of product does not equal higher quality yield in outcome. Increased short-term profit does not produce better long-term results.

Keep this in mind as you navigate your work day. Find a mentor who will help you, as they can provide a fresh perspective. Get into a master-mind group to help accelerate your learning and growth. These are just some of the resources each leader needs to succeed is having a significant life and being respected in your role.

Are You an Insecure Leader?

Insecurity is a part of life. Everyone I have spoken with, about life’s deep issues, reveals that we all have certain levels of insecurity. It can permeate so many aspects of our lives. The only way I know of to reduce insecurity is to stop trying new things and stop learning new information…in other words stop growing, stagnate.

We all need to overcome various levels of insecurity in our lives, and often on a daily basis. Here are some things to consider, when you let your insecurities impede your ability to lead well.

Common Traits of an Insecure Leader:

1. They do not provide safety for those in their care. There is an old saying, “you cannot give what you do not have.” When you are letting insecurity drive your leading and decisions the negative impact spreads like ripples in an otherwise smooth surface.

2. They take more than they give. When leading through insecurity, you will always be seeking validation, acknowledgement, acceptance, and love. If this is your focus, you are taking these things away from others who have earned it. As leaders we are called first and foremost to serve and care for others.

3. They are placing a lid on their best performers. What I mean is that you are preventing others from thriving, and excelling with their gifts and abilities. The strongest leaders give away their power and encourage others to succeed beyond their previous, self-imposed limitations.

4. They constantly limit growth and progress within the organization. When a leader undermines the value, accomplishments, and achievements of those they lead, the subordinates (or cohorts) will tend towards discouragement, frustration, and exasperation. When these emotions are prevalent, performance is greatly diminished. We need to aware of and cultivating the strengths of others.

When we are struggling with insecurities, it is important to not stay in that emotional state. The higher up you are in a leadership role (CEO, Father, Mother, Pastor, Teacher, etc.) the broader your influence of others. What are some ways you can overcome insecurities?

• Know yourself - Have you even taken a personality test? If not, there are some good ones available consider looking into Myers-Briggs, DISC, or even Understand Myself (I am not personally endorsing these specific tests, only providing an example of what is available). This may help you with understanding your strengths and how the strengths of others compliment you. Additionally, consider asking others to provide direct, honest feedback on 3 strengths and 3 weaknesses they see in you. If you do this, you cannot under any circumstances allow yourself to lash out or in any way cause others to be disciplined for sharing their observations.

• Learn to give credit away - Not only acknowledge the positive outcomes experienced by the contribution of others, but also recognize the work performed along the way. Seek ways to help those in your care to elevate their own career and personal growth. This has to be genuine. Others will know if it is contrived. If you are not already in the habit of doing this, it will take time to win the trust of others before they will believe you are sincere.

• Get help - There are professionals who are available to provide guidance, insight, and direction in overcoming insecurity. It is not a sign of weakness to seek out help. The best athletes in the world have a team of analysts, coaches, therapists, and mentors around them in order to excel. I know from personal experience that a close and healthy, mentoring relationship can make a huge impact on a leader’s life

Insecurity is real. If we do not overcome our insecurities we will stifle our growth as well as those in our care. If you want your organization, family, club, and friends to thrive then get past your insecurities and help others work through theirs.

Games People Play

“Leadership is about influence. Nothing else.” - John Maxwell

Although I do not whole-heartedly agree with the above quote from John Maxwell I do believe it holds a lot of truth. As leaders we do have influence, we are seeking to persuade, and we strive to comprehend how others think. Effective leaders seek to understand human behavior in general and the specific behaviors of those whom they serve.

If you have followed my musings for long, you know that I am a proponent of having a mentor in your life. My life has been greatly enriched by a small number of mentors. During one meeting with a mentor, it was suggested that I read, Games People Play. In turn, I would recommend this book to others as a tool to gain new insight into how people interact. This is not an exhaustive analysis of transactions between and among people, but it does share a great deal of insight.

Eric Berne was a psychiatrist who studied social transactions. In this book, he defines games differently than we traditionally think. In his own words, “A game is an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well-defined, predictable outcome. Descriptively it is a recurring set of transactions, often repetitious, superficially plausible, with concealed motivation; or, more colloquially, a series of moves with a snare, or ‘gimmick’.” He additionally outlines three “egos” to represent the games or transactions which occur.

As people go through these games that, the transaction can be Parent-to-Parent, Parent-to-Adult, Parent-to Child, Adult-to-Parent, Adult-to-Adult, Adult-to-Child, Child-to-Parent, Child-to-Adult, or Child-to-Child as the ego state. To fully appreciate and understand the games which are played and how they can be detrimental to healthy relationships the book needs to be read with the mindset to absorb and understand its contents. Underline, make notes in the margins, and earmark pages where you find valuable insight.

The book itself is not focused on challenges specific to leadership. I believe that the information conveyed here will contribute to effective leadership as it provides a great insight into how people operate. Not all games being played are negative, but usually individuals affected by negative games will go to seek professional help. Thus, most of what is presented reflects on negatively impacted relationships and how to sort through them.

There is a lot to be gleaned from this book. I highly recommend reading this book with the mindset of discerning which games you may be playing and how those games may be impacting your relationships with others. As a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, school mate, coworker, sibling, manager, or any other role you may fulfill in life someone is looking to you for leadership. The better prepared you are to help, guide, influence, and positively persuade those for whom you care will help you point them in the right direction.